The Goals!2006

Midnight comes closer, so the time comes to post the goals for 2006. I don't like resolutions; they're too...something. Goals are concrete, incremental, measurable, attainable; something to shoot for. I had a good attainage percentage from last year, which makes me enthusiastic about 2006. This is going to be a great year. So here's the list, from the most concrete to the fuzzyest.

Finance
1. Start living from a budget. Plan the month ahead of time, stick to the Excel spreadsheet, and use cash for all non-bills. Gradually increase standing balance in my checking account to equal $750.00; contribute no less than $150 Jan.-June and $200 July though December to savings.
2. Keep the credit card bill paid off every month, pay no interest all year.
3. Incur no bank fees, traffic tickets, dog-poo fines, and other total wastes of money.
4. Start my 401(k) in January, increase contributions to equal 10% of every paycheck by June. Deposit bank bonus (if I get one) directly into the 401(k).

Health
1. Start eating breakfast every day again. Oatmeal with fruit. Smoothies.
2. Increase consumption of yogurt, cranberry juice, all fruits, start putting flax-seed in smoothies.
3. Cook more vegetarian dinners like quiche, bulgar, etc., curries (thanks, Ben) and more fish.
4. Visit the doctor (in Jan or Feb) for complete physical; discuss baby-making stuff with doctor.
5. Lose either 7 lbs, 5% body fat (as measured by bathroom scale) or both, through above measures and increased gym visits.

Job
1. Either get promoted or leave the bank for better paying, more challenging job. Update resume.
2. Not to be a bank teller this time next year.

And
1. Get this whole wedding thing planned and executed, ASAP. Try to have the planning done by Valentine's Day and the wedding over by June.
2. Go on a nice honeymoon.
3. Help D with his goal of losing some weight, getting his shoulder and arm muscles in shape, and eating better. (even though he may not be aware of his goals exactly.)
4. This time next year be married (for sure) to D and expecting (possibly)

Cat box woes

First, I'd like to say that I'm in a much better place than I was with the previous blog. Some things are just better to say and get it out than to fester. Also, some of my fears were unwarranted; the gift-exchange went really well and I ended up with a Starbucks giftcard. And there was plenty of food. And the boss practically ignored the whole "meeting" part so that we could focus on the "party" part of the evening. So.

Last night I wasn't feeling well, felt very sinusy and headachey when I came home from work. So D cleaned the catbox (so the bathroon wouldn't smell), ran me a bath, went out for beer and wine, and made dinner. I felt so much better after, and so very loved. Because while many men would run a bath and pour wine for their sweetie, only a true love would have touched that catbox. (insert novel-format here...

D staggered out of the bathroom, clutching the doorframe and a bottle of Lysol. His eyes are hollow and gaunt, as one who's seen great carnage; they search the room and finally settle on the cat. "you!" he whispers, accusingly. Almost threateningly. "you were so cute as a kitten! nobody warned us about this...this..." Lost for words, he just shakes his head. She is remarkably unperturbed by him and remains atop the sofa, watching him in that narrow, sphinx-like way that cats have. "what better thing could you do, than clean my box?" she seems to ask. Sighing, he throws one last "Don't go in there for a while!" over his shoulder and starts manuevering the trashbag down the stairs to the garage, trailing a heady aroma of catpiss behind him.

My hero!

I'm working on my goals for 2006, which I think is going to be our year. Really! I haven't felt this good about a year in a long time. They'll be posted next.

Annoying!

I feel all sort of pent-up and annoyed at the world, so I'm making a list. Because what are blogs for if not for cathartic list-making?

1. It's so annoying for somebody to tell me how cute my little sister is, and be surprised about it. Why is that so surprising? Am I a hag and nobody told me or something? I know she's adorable, that since birth she's been the "cute" one (because everybody has to do that to sisters. God forbid they both be smart and attractive), but it's fairly insulting for somebody to say "wow! your sister is a cutie!" as though shocked that we emerged from the same gene pool. Manners, anyone? And by the way, she's smart, too. And funny. Open your eyes, folks, she's more than just cute! It's doubly insulting.

2. I'm annoyed at the world for the fact that I went to visit somebody at work who either wasn't there or was actually working or something. How is this rational? Everything should stop upon my arrival! I am the queen, and the queen wants lunch! When I have a half-day, everybody needs to have a half-day!

3. I'm bugged that everybody at work is slavering for fresh homemade cookies for the party/meeting tonight when I know that none of them are baking, they're just picking stuff up on the way to the bank. I'm not a fucking bakery, folks; it's a two-way street. I'm not so desperate for praise that I'll spend time and money to bake ya'll cookies when I don't feel like it. I bake out of love only, love for the process, for the product, and occasionally for the recipients. Right now I don't love you.

4. Also annoyed in preparation for tonight that what should be a fun white-elephant gift exchange is probably going to suck ass now because people can't be bothered to bring a nice $10 gift but are just going to bring whatever it is that they don't want. I've overheard at least one co-worker say, "oh, I'm just bringing this awful thing that I won in another exchange, you should do the same!" It's ten bucks, folks; just go out and buy a scented candle, a box of candy, a gift card, or whatever! Don't be so frickin cheap and lazy! D got this set of Jones sodas in wierd flavors like 'turkey and gravy' and 'stuffing' but I'm not going to take that to the bank and pass it on, come on! Well, partly because I want to try them, but still.

5. Why on earth are we combining our monthly meeting with our holiday party? This really sucks. We can't bring spouses or friends or whatever like we would otherwise, and it's going to be like "Sales reports, snacks, operations, gift exchange, attendance issues, etc..." How are these two mutually exclusive events supposed to coincide?

6. What's with all the car dealerships and companies trying to suggest that you can save money if you buy their car? Hello, the best way to save money is to not buy a new car! Keep driving the one you have-- that'll save money! Unless it's a Hummer and you want to trade it in for a Prius or something, or if it's costing so much in repairs that a new car would actually save money, there's no way that buying something like a car will save you anything at all! It's the worst kind of fake math there is! I don't know what bugs me more, the advertisers, or the stupid, blind, rationalizing people that believe them.

I'm not going to re-read this because I'm edit a whole bunch of stuff, so here is my annoyance blog, raw and real.

Old friends

I just had dinner with some old college friends and their little circle...so full. Backstory here; Kristen and Eddie and I were very close friends from our first semester at UTD, along with a few others, Kay, Shamita, Pen, etc. Naturally we all spread apart during college and after, and I may have spread the furthest by hooking up with D and moving with him to Vermont. And, I have never had the money or time to go on vacation with them, which they've done a lot over the years. Kristen still has a very tight circle of friends mainly from that era and they're fun to go out with sometimes, even though she's the only one I really know. Eddie has been away in west Texas going to med school and is back for the holidays, so it was like old times, except for the fact that Kristen is working on her PhD, Eddie is in rotation at med school, and I....am working at the bank. Ah well. No friends like old friends, as they say. Eddie's evened out a lot since the old days, which is why I wish D would meet him again. For some reason he really took against him at their first meeting (which was about 5 years ago now), deciding that Eddie was a major pussy among other things. D tends to make snap decisions about people like that, which can be annoying and inconvenient. He ought to realize that I wouldn't maintain a 5-year friendship with someone unless they were worth knowing, which Eddie is. hmm. Circular thoughts happening now, must hang up.

Ah, Chanukah

I have just returned from the Chanukah Night at my parent's house, so named because we'll probably only meet the one time even if it does extend eight days. Latkes, candles, beer and wine, and presents, so many presents...I absolutely can't believe all the stuff that I got! I didn't ask for anything so it was all a surprise. The list:

1. Six (count 'em, six) classical CD's from Dad and Little Bro.
2. Socks, 2 pair (a Chanukah tradition for our family that is also a little Harry Potter. I think I'd cry if there were a Chanukah without any socks.)
2. A Day-by-Day calendar with crossword puzzles on it!
3. A nifty little jewelry-box thing that is bright orange shiny vinyl and shaped like a fish! So cute. 4. A hundred-dollar check tucked into the jewelry box.
5. A box of Ferraro Rocher chocolates, my favorite!
6. One of those little nesting Russian dolls, I can't remember what they're called, Matroyska? Matrioshka? from their Alaskan trip last summer.
7. A beautiful, arty little compact mirror and magnifyer.
8. A gift certificate to Petsmart, with not only Alice and Cathy's names on it, but Speeder and Earl's as well. I can't believe my mom remembers the names of our fish...

It's an embarrasment of riches; I wasn't expecting anything like that. I'm glad we did the Salvation Army thing instead of buying gifts for Mom and Dad, but it does lack the exitement factor a little. And, I forgot that little bro has Winter Camp with the boyscouts all next week, so I didn't bring his present because D couldn't be there. Since D paid for most of it (Age of Empire III, 50 bucks (it has three with a roman numeral, Mara, not the number three; do you know how that is? It looks like three "i"s in a row?" Gosh, I love being thought so highly of by a 14-year-old)) --I thought he would like to be present for the presenting so to speak. D is perpetually soft-hearted when it comes to the holidays, though. He will work straight through and miss the holiday himself in order to give his guys the day off; a practice from his divorced/single days: they have families, let them be at home, I can work... I love him for it even if he does miss things. Mom and Dad made a brisket especially in his honor thinking he'd be there. It's almost 11 at night now, and he won't be home for a few hours yet.

So, I didn't bring any presents over there and walked out with a bag of them. Gosh. Now I'm listening to my new CD of Schubert's Trout Quintet and munching chocolates. Ahh, Chanukah. Interestingly, what D is giving me and what the two of us are giving KK is the same thing; this beautiful candle-holder/sculpture/thingie. It's made of a dark metal, maybe iron, about 2 feet tall, a graceful swooping shape with three tea-light holders suspended in it. We saw it at a specialty candle store in a mall and liked it so much that I had to find a loophole to the no-buying-yourself-stuff-the-week-before-C/Ch. Aha--he hasn't got me anything yet! He can get me this thing that we like so much, and we can get her one too! Perfect. It isn't as wierd as it sounds because she and I do have overlapping taste in decor and art, so there are things that we both own, inspired by the other's apartment. I'm looking forward to giving it to her even if she did want gift certificates for work-clothes.

Yesterday, we went to IKEA to get the chair that is my gift to him, and it was great! The store wasn't at all crowded. We've decided to make it our Christmas-eve tradition, to go to IKEA and browse. The chair is so comfortable, and it should be better for D's back than the old futon that serves as our sofa. Plus, I really like the way it looks. And it's a wonderful chair for reading--I spent most of the day curled up in it reading Jane Austin's Persuasion. Someday I will have read everything that Austin ever wrote, and that makes me sad. I realized about half-way through it that the second Bridget Jones' Diary book is based on Persuasion in the way that the first is based on Pride and Prejudice. The similarity was too great to overlook--some scenes were practically lifted right off the pages--and it made me laugh, because I could predict what would happen in Persuasion based on the Bridget Jones correlary. We're going to have to re-arrange all the living-room furniture to fit the chair in, but that was long-overdue anyways. Maybe we'll do that tomorrow, if he's still off work.

Peace on earth,

or at least in here. I have the next three days off-- tomorrow, Sunday (obviously) and we're closed Monday in observance (?) of Christmas. As much as I disdain the whole X-mas hoopla, I dig the time off, man. I almost don't know what to do with myself-- extra money and time both! Gosh. Too bad you can't bank time.

Alice woke us up bright and early with, er, "digestive problems". I don't know where she got them, but we took her outside four times between 5 in the morning and 8, when I had to leave for work. Work- what a crazy place! Why would anybody wait until the 23rd of December to go to the bank for Christmas presents? "Whatdya mean, ya don't have Visa gift cards?" (special X-mas cash envelopes, brand-spankin'-new crispy bills, etc, etc) The bank is not a store at which you buy presents for people! It's just a bank! We don't order new money for Christmas! And we had to wear silly santa hats that were itchy! Anyways. That's all over now. Deep calming breath. Right.

Alice seems to be fine now. Strict kibble diet, that's what she needs. No steak bones, no pizza crusts, nada. Nothing but kibble for you, missy, until you prove that you can handle the good stuff. We really do seem to be missing a fish from the aquarium, one of the cory cats. Every time I feed them I only count three. Did he die? Did Cathy get him? It's a mystery. Fish floating at the top of the tank is not a mystery, but fish disappearing completely? weird. This is the second time it's happened. My theory is that the fish (which is generally on the bottom of the tank) dies, then floats to the top, where the cat scoops him out. She would be no match for a live one and these are bottom feeders anyways....seems the most logical solution.

I called my parents and told them about the super-jumbo check from Grandma and dad thinks it's ok, that she's probably just trying to unload some dough, but he's going to mention it to her when they talk next, and also see what Phillip's and KK's are, to make sure that she didn't make a mistake or something. I really sorta wanted to just deposit it quietly in my account, but....you know. Off to bed where I can sleep in! For three days!

Windfalls

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days; the more I have to say, the less time I have to say it! It's been so busy at work lately, with everybody out sick. Another girl has come up pregnant, adding weight to my contagious-pregnancy theory. I'm giving both 0f them plenty of space for now, just in case...

Saturday, D and I went to Walmart. It has to be one of the dumbest ideas we've ever had, going to Walmart, on a Saturday...the week before Christmas...it was awful. And of course they didn't have what I needed. I hate that place, honestly. But to save 10 bucks off a computer game I'll try anything.

Sunday, my little brother and I spent the whole day making a gingerbread house (pictures to follow when I find the little cord that connects the camera to the computer!) with gables, and real candy windows, and a big chimney made of maple-nuts. Mmm, gingerbread. mmm.

Yesterday D, got a holiday bonus check from his workand he took me out to dinner to celebrate. It must be nice to be a manager and get nice bonus checks! It will make up all the money we've leached out of his savings accout to cover medical bills etc over the last quarter. The Cheesecake Factory was surprisingly crowded-- we had to wait 25 minutes for a table on a Monday night! I kind of forgot about the whole pre-Christmas going-out-thing. It was so good though. Worth the wait. Mmm cheesecake! Mmm bonus check. Wish I was getting one of those myself!



Update:

So, it's only been an hour and already things are new. It appears that D spent his day off from work cleaning the apartment; it's all vaccuumed and tidy. I love that man. He's at a work-party-thing now, so I'm here listening to Mozart, eating cheesecake, and blogging in a clean, peaceful apartment. On the dining-room table with the mail was a card from Grandma for my birthday (I guess she's a little ahead of herself; my birthday is next month) with a check for birthday/Chanukah combined. And.....wow. I won't say how much it is because that would be crass, but if you took my monthly expenses and tripled them....that's what the check is. I'm bowled over. I have an urge to check with the other grandkids to make sure she didn't give me like, all the Chanukah money or something on accident. I mean I know she can afford it and all, but it's so much just for birthday/Chanukah. More like what you'd give for a wedding or Bat Mitzvah or something. This will take all of my budgeting and saving goals for the next year and jump-start them like crazy. Wow. (still bowled over, give me a minute.) Well, here are the pictures of the gingerbread house:

Democrats are sexy!

Who ever heard of a nice piece of elephant?

Hehehe. Yeah. The other day I saw the greatest bumper sticker at the movie theater. It said something to the effect of:

"Ladies Anarchist Sewing Circle and Terrorist Guild"

in very swirly script. Love it. Today I am the Queen of Cookies. Cookies cover my kitchen and my dining room; cookies on plates, on trays, on racks. Peanut-butter-kiss cookies and crispy sugar cookies. I made maybe even too many cookies; I ran out of steam and the gingerbread dough is still in the fridge. My coworkers will love me tomorrow as I am bringing lots of cookies to work. Even though I'm not sure they deserve cookies at all, it is the "holiday season", whatever that has come to mean.

Making all the cookies was cathartic, or maybe it was just having a day off; I feel ok about having to go back tommorow. I can handle it. I decided today that my main goal for the new year is going to be a better job, and one not in customer service. Something that requires a bachelor's degree and more than a little intelligence. Preferably something within the bank, for what's the point of working for such a big, powerful company if not to move up and around within the ranks and divisions? I'm tired of being a foot-soldier, because let's face it; I should be doing better than this. I'm being lazy and chicken staying so long in this position. Job-hunting sucks, but so does doing something so un-demanding, something that under-utilizes all of my abilities, something paying less than 10 an hour... So, here's to next year! I feel optimistic about it because last year my goal was to get my finances in order and I did a good job with it.

Also:


You're a unicorn. You're very pure and innocent.
Almost everyone loves you and you love almost
everyone. You may be naive to the point of
gullibility. You're pretty much incapable of
violence, the exception being when someone you
love is threatened. While your intentions are
nothing but good, some might call you a
"straight-edger." Your alignment is
EXTREMELY *good*.


What mythical beast are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


I think it was choosing classical music that did it...

I'm back...

to the land of blog! A troubling combination of business and computer problems have kept me from my little journal, but have no fears; tonight I can post anew.

I saw my old friend Erin this weekend, up from Austin where the people are better-read and the grocery stores are cooler-- apparently it's the HQ of Whole Foods and they have a huge one down there. Erin--get this--has actually met my hero, the food-network guru Alton Brown. He's one of the few people that I'd get really exited about meeting face-to-face. He's like the Bill Nye of food! Erin and I are going to open a restaurant one of these days, when we raise a little capital.

I also went to my work-friend Kristin's graduation party Saturday night, which was a lot smaller than I anticipated. It was fun in a laid-back kind of way. All the guys there but one were gay, which was kind of funny. My unknowingly flirting a little with one of them was funny. I mean, my non-knowlege of his being gay, not my non-knowlege of the flirting. Right. But he was someone that I knew from way back (freshman year) and he was "in the closet" then.... and so I'm not the most observant person in the room either. I mean, I didn't realize that he'd brought his boyfriend to the party... it was very British-comedy for a while there.

Sunday D and I saw Pride and Prejudice. It was really good! The only thing I think they botched a little was the passage of time; things that take weeks or months to occur in the book seem to just follow one another much too quickly. For example, in the book a long time and a lot of inner growth, personal reflection, and letter-re-reading take place between the two proposal scenes. In the movie it was more like:

Mr. Darcy: "I love you. Will you marry me?"

Elizabeth: "No! You're despicable!"

Next scene

Mr. Darcy: "I still love you. Will you marry me?"

Elizabeth: "Yes! I was so wrong about you!"

They don't give Elizabeth the time and reflection that it would reasonably take to change her mind so dramatically. And they cut some development that would have helped the movie flow by casting Mr. D in a darker light to begin with; it's too easy to see in the movie that he's being misunderstood. But I'm nit-picking; the movie's really good generally. The casting is great and I seem to have developed a crush on Mr. Darcy.

Today totally sucked at work but I'm not going to get into it. The good thing about posting late at night is that my work-day seems far away now, like a bad dream. Let it drift away into the night...

And, I broke the celibacy barrier on saturday!!!!!! (she cheers with happiness and relief.) With a little help from my friend of course (that being my D, not Ringo) My longest-ever period of sex-free living has past! Unless you count those first 17 years, which I don't. Even if another couple of months go by, it's good knowing that normalcy can be restored. But that's private stuff, even for the blog. ....

So! Anyways. Right. I'm going to bed. To sleep.

Oh, oh, oh...

Day off! Alice went to the vet this morning and she was so good! She took the shots and all the personal invasion like a champ. That's my baby. I wish my health-care plan was half as good as hers is, really. I had lunch with Ben (hi, Ben!) which was fun! Why do restaurants put so much food on the plates? It's like 3 times what a serving-size should be so you either eat it all and feel uncomfortably stuffed or take it home with you. I wish they'd charge less and sell normal-sized food. I think it alters the subconscious idea of what a meal should look like after awhile, too, so that people that eat out a lot eat more at home as well. Hello, obese America! Anyways.

I didn't have to go in on my day off like I thought I would which makes me so happy that I'm contemplating cleaning up this pigsty of an apartment that I'm sitting in, but first things first; KK is coming over to help with the rest of the Salvation Army shopping. It's all due in on Monday so time's a-wastin'!

I'm definitely ovulating again today, which makes me more outgoing and flirtatious than usual. Just as well that I'm not at work, I guess; no use wasting a good mood there! I'm sort of looking forward to actually trying to make a baby, in part to see if being so observant of my cyclical stuff actually comes in handy. And in part just because it'd just be so much fun...makin' it....(sigh.)
(celibacy sucks ass.)

Right. Going shopping now for stuff! Could be fun. Cleaning up apartment! Could be rewarding.

Walking in the Texas sleet

Wow.... we're finally getting some winter weather. I'm wearing my Vermont coat! Well, not right this moment because I'm inside, but to work this morning. Very nice. I wish I could be all smug and caustic about the weather.... "Cold? Ya'll don't know nuthin' 'bout cold. Vermont, 20 below zero... that's cold! This isn't nuthin at all, you wusses!" But I can't do that anymore. First of all, anything below zero feels about the same even if the numbers sound impressive (right, Becca?), and because I do feel cold now. This Texas weather, it comes with wind, a chill that makes 30 degrees get to you. Maybe we get used to being 80 degrees all the time and it's the shock that makes it so cold, I don't know.

Anyways. I can still make fun of Texans driving on the sleet that we're going to get. hehehe.

Instead of scheduling a key and a combo to open this morning as always, the powers that be scheduled Kristin and myself, and we're both keys. We can't open any part of the vault without the combination and we had to call someone out of her warm bed, on her day off, to come open the vault. Poor girl. Not a great start to the day, really. Work has gotten wierd lately, with gossip and drama and factions and stuff. Not my cup of tea at all. I find myself lately missing some of the guys that I used to work with at the restaurant. They were a fun, interesting bunch, and sexy. Not to mention uncomplicated and unpolitical. Working with so many girls really sucks sometimes.

I also think that I've developed a real preference for a certain type of guy, the kind of guy who wears a toolbelt and does stuff with it. They're just so attractive! I think that D was the very first manifestation of this thing. I guess it's because in college I was surrounded by guys who talked all the time and were full so full of themselves and their ideas and didn't do jack shit; who's idea of work was hitting the gym or being a teacher's aide. All those nice blue-collar guys at the hotel were like a breath of fresh air...that I'm still breathing. Still flirting with all those tool-belt guys..

Adolescence

Thank the gods, my manager is back from vacation. Boy, I never thought I'd hear myself say that, even in my head.... just goes to show what a completely incompetent assistant manager can do to a person.

I had dinner at mom and dad's last night, and we played Scrabble after, or should I say that they both royally kicked my ass. I just got the worst letters all night! At one point I actually had 6 vowels and a "z". "zuu"! "uzo"! "zeo"! Right.

Helped my little brother study his geometry last week and he called me the next day to let me know that he got an A, which I thought was sweet. I can still bisect a parallelogram with the best of them, I guess. So, Ben, if you do take any math classes I can help you too. But anyways.

My little brother is growing up, which is really funny. (For us, not for him. It must suck to be the youngest sometimes.) He's shot up to almost my height--and I'm 5'7"--but we were getting used to that. Now I can put my arm around his shoulders instead of resting my chin on the top of his head like I used to do. He's got that awkward adolescent thing going where he wants to be hugged but doesn't want to appear to want to at the same time. The only solution to this is to grab him in a bear-hug and call him munchkin, whenever the mood strikes; 4 times out of 5 he'll be glad and the fifth time he'll be, "what the hell, you just hugged me five minutes ago! Get off me!"
But now, now his smooth baby skin is erupting into adolescence as well with the arrival of the first zit. (Sound the fanfare here.) It's just so weird for me because of the age difference; I was ten when he was born; I've changed his diapers, everything. A year from now and he'll be in a totally different place. He and I are much more similar to each other than KK is to either of us, both in looks and in temperment. He looks a lot like I did at that age but, you know, a guy. So, it's all weirdness. I miss my little brother.

Gingerbread cynic

I decided not to post again until I had something to say other than whining about work. Time to get over it, Mara, work sucks and it pretty much always will. Otherwise they'd call it "lying on a beach working on the tan" and not "work".

I'm baking cookies right now (chocolate chip, of course) for my co-worker who wanted them; the whole apartment smells so good. My sinus-headache is finally clearing up again-- is it just me, or has this become a real problem? I think I'm going to go back and read my blog from the beginning, doing a sinus-headache count, seeing how often I mention it. I was watching Food Network with D earlier today which is so dangerous this time of year. I am now seized with the desire to make an absolutely amazing gingerbread house, really decked out. I can just see it; gables in the roof, chimney, yellow-glass windows and lots of snow... I must get a grip. I've got no call to make something like that; maybe I'll make some gingerbread men instead to get rid of this bug. Cute little guys with M&M buttons.

As always I'm disgusted by the cynicism and shallowness of the so-called "holiday season", I could make a grinch-like list of the issues I have with it but instead I will just take advantage of the baking opportunities and the charitable ones, and ignore all the rest of the jazz. I love being Jewish and being able to ignore the whole shtick.

"Actually, I don't celebrate Christmas..."
"Really?!" (insert gaping, disbelieving expression here) Fun stuff.

It's time now to change the water for the tank, my usual Sunday adventure; to the hoses! To the bowl! To the bright blue algae-scrubbing brush! And to think the whole aquarium was D's idea. Lets see, the last time he cleaned it would be, hmmm. Yeah. Ohhh, gingerbread fishies! I think I need a new cookie-cutter...

Ramblin' on....

Yesterday was a really awful day at the bank, full of mistakes, hecticicity and general ickyness due to the basic incompetence of our assistant manager. Nice person, bad manager. Bleargh. D made it all better though, by taking me to our favorite restaurant. Italian food and wine... they'll fix any problem, right? I felt so warm and loved and fuzzy. That was probably the (single glass of) wine though. What can I say, I'm a cheap date! Note to self, start drinking more. D also spent the night in what I now think of as "my" bed, which was so nice.

Today was also long and busy, working open to close. It looks like that will be my shift most of the month, 8:45 to 6:30 or so. It doesn't sound long but dealing with the public makes it seem longer. My shoulders have been killing me lately, I don't know what to do about it. Tonight I tried some yoga and general stretching which felt good, but I don't think it really helped....I need a rubdown in the worst way. Youch.

Our apartment complex is raising the rent on us, about 80 more a month. Do we stay? Do we move? The bastards, we aren't exactly swimming in extra dough, more like just squeaking by what with D's new medical bills et cetera. Does this ever get easy? I feel like between us me make plenty of money on paper but with the child support, health insurance, taxes and all the rest we don't have so much to actually live on. Now I feel like they might actually deserve what we've done to the carpet...

Alice seems to have gotten the turkey carcass out of the trash where D forgot and left it (bad D! bad!) and had really bad, really messy craps all over the dining room. The clean up was rough. Just....rough. I almost ralphed, myself. If there's anyone out there who thinks, "dogs are so fun! I should get one!", just know that eventually you'll have to clean liquid dog poo out of carpet. Very fun. That was all on Wednesday evening. The worst bit is that I didn't figure out that it was Alice for awhile but assumed it was my sister's puppy (Cocomo) who was also there so I yelled at her big-time and made her cower in the corner. Whoops. Oh well, she deserves all the yelling I can dish out, I guess.

And now to bed, so that I can face tomorrow too....

Tryin' to be honest

After re-reading my previous entry I realize that it sounds hollow and trite, because I've been editing myself again. What an ongoing battle that is, to be honest in your own journal. Unconsciously trying to be PC, upbeat and happy... leaving out key scenes and issues. What a crock! D and I were fighting on and off all weekend, primarily about dinner of all things. Somebody's been slacking on dinner duty after over-cooking a turkey the day before Thanksgiving. I feel no pity for the turkey incident because I've told him again and again, that you have to use a timer when cooking, or else a thermometer, or else check on it constantly. You can't just leave the bird in the oven and watch Star Wars. Anyways, I made spaghetti last night and refused to let him have any until he apoligized for skiving off dinner 4 nights in a row and promised to do right this week, or else have a day-old Starbucks sandwich from the fridge for dinner. My spaghetti is a powerful motivator, and the garlic bread didn't hurt either. :) So that should be all right now.

Everybody at work is sick with the same thing, some kind of virus that resides in the throat. I've been losing my voice for a week now, which was kind of sexy at first but it getting annoying. other symptoms include sinus-y headaches and sore throat. I think that our building is one of those that encourages illness, especially with the heat being turned on. must....drink...tea....

We had a bank-wide conversation about birth control yesterday that was quite enlightening. It turns out that I'm not the only one not on anything at all, but the whole thing was weird in a girls-only kind of way; asking everybody that walked into the back room, "hey, what do you use?" It also turns out that I'm not the only girl that hates the Pill and all the wierd stuff that it does to you.

On a brighter note, I can't wait to see Pride and Prejudice! At first I wasn't looking forward to it because I thought they'd cast Winona Ryder as Elizabeth and I can't stand her, but it's actually Kiera Knightley, who's ok! Makes sense actually because Winona would be far too old by now to play that role. D actually asked me if I'd read that book....I just stared at him. Guess he hasn't seen my favorites list, but honestly. I've read bits of it out to him because it's so funny. This reinforces the vague idea that I had about him zoning out when I talk about books. I couldn't do my blog last night because I've decided to reread the book in preparation for the movie coming out. (And no, I didn't finish it last night.)

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

Brilliant. Best love story ever, really; my favorite. I can't wait to see it! Maybe this weekend or something.

Miscellenia

Whew! We're having big wind storms here, with power outages and everything. Actually most inconvienent; I had devoted the afternoon to washing wool sweaters (long process involving shampoo, towels, etc.) when all the lights went out and the gates to the complex stopped working, trapping my sister and a lot of other people on the wrong sides of the gates.

My period has arrived right on time and I think I've discovered something really weird; I think that muscle relaxers might actually stop periods in their tracks; last night I was like, "hey, where'd it go?" Then it came back with all the pain. As D pointed out, they don't prescibe muscle relaxers for period pains; maybe that's why. Very abnormal. Next time I'll just use pain killers.

We went shopping today for the SA angels and got some really cute Spiderman sheets for the little one. And a blanket to match. D carefully tested all the Tonka trucks but we didn't get one yet.

I have to open at work tomorrow, seven in the morning, so off to bed I go.

The aftermath of it all

Well, that was a weird Thanksgiving. First of all, we didn't eat until 6:30 b/c KK didn't get off of work (Starbucks) until then, and we usually eat around 4:00. So, I brought all of my stuff (pie, bread-rolls, spinach dip, potatoes, and fiance) over to my folks mid-afternoon expecting the usual chaos-- you know, yelling, dropping, burning, three people in the kitchen getting in each other's way, the good china coming out for it's yearly performance...
Instead, all is calm and no-one is cooking. Bird's already in the oven, everything else is either done or can wait until just before dinner, like the gravy. So weird. Well what this does of course is make the after-dinner fights and bickering much more intense because the Thanksgiving equilibrium must be satisfied and all was too calm before. Usually after we eat and have dessert we eat again, and maybe a little more....but eating so late means we just had dinner and wine and dessert the one time. Ah well.

Bad Thanksgiving moment: when I finally sat down and tried to eat, I got my bad scary heatburn feeling and barely touched dinner. No thirds, not even seconds. It was the spread of the year and I couldn't eat it! Bummer. Looking back I think it might've been the coffee. I did drink more coffee than usual. You know what are cool? Words with two double-letters in a row, like coffee. Coffee. Hehehe. I like that. Anyways.

My apple pie that was so beautiful on the outside was for some reason purple (almost black) on the inside. It tasted great, all apples and really flaky crust etc, but the coloration was a little off. It might have been the cast-iron skillet approach that I tried. Only KK was brave enough to ask about it. "Umm, Mara? This is really good, but why are the apples purple? Is that like a new "thing?" At least the bread was great. I'm having some as toast right now. And coffee with leftover whipped cream. (So I don't learn, ok?) And the spinach dip was a huge hit.
My parents have a really old meat thermometer that tells them to cook the bird until it hits 180 degrees. I think I'll get them a more modern one (mine says 165) for Chanukah. They're always puzzled that the breast is a litle dry, but if you cook it to 180 degrees it will dry out, no question. Even if you are following instructions.

I only have to work 4 hours today, it's like a half day because I never had a day off this week except yesterday and they have to pay me for that one so to get only 40 hours they've shaved hours off here and there so I don't have to be at work until 1:45. Sweet. And I'm about 90% sure that Ihave the weekend off too!

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

First and foremost, Harry Potter GOF is a great movie! They took my least-favorite book of the series and turned it into a really good film. Some great lines (that weren't in the book):

Harry: "Hermione, tell Ron that--"
Hermione: "I...am not...an OWL!!" (storms off)

Professor Snape: "Perhaps the best thing would be to let events... unfold, and see what happens."
Professor McGonagall: "You can't use Potter as... as bait! He's a boy, not a piece of meat!"

Is it wrong to find Harry pretty darn attractive now? How old is he anyways? Legal? Not legal? There's a fantastic scene with Harry (naked) in the bath being flirted with by a ghost as he desparately tries to pile bubbles over his, um, unmentionables. Hehehe.

I'm in the middle of making bread and some other things...it's not even noon and my mom and I have been on the phone 3 times. I love Thanksgiving. I have a Kitchen-aid stand mixer and this is the first time I've gotten to use the dough-hook...it's amazing! Absolutely amazing. Fifteen minutes of arduous kneading gone, just like that, and the dough looks better than any I've made by hand. Well, it's off to start the pie! What's Thanksgiving without the apple pie, hmm? It's no Thanksgiving at all by my book!

Update:
The bread is on second rising, separated into farmhouse rolls, and the apple pie is finished. I put a top crust on it even though D and my dad are always for dutch-apple, because there's something so festive about the double-crusted pie. I don't usually photograph my food, but this pie is so pretty! Now to make the spinach dip and prep the potatoes!

Finally.

Last night I made the mac, and it was wonderful. Creamy smooth sauce, toasty with breadcrumbs and melted cheese... perfect. I just don't know what happened earlier.

D is watching the 3rd Star Wars movie, by which I mean Revenge of the Sith and not the Jedi. I can't describe how incredibly annoying this is. He had all day to watch his stupid movie while I was at work but no...I have to be here, too. And this is after we saw it in the theater last summer. At least we're going to go to Harry Potter IV in a little while with my brother. I've heard such good things about it, and it's my least-favorite of the series anyways, so it doesn't have as much to live up to.

I can't wait until tomorrow, my favorite holiday of the year. Thanksgiving...mmm. I'm making an apple pie, the mashed potatoes, and a spinach and artichoke dip to munch on, but mom and dad are doing everything else. It's going to be fun.

Mac and cheese disaster

What a weird day. Woke up late, late to work. As soon as I get there I discover a huge ghastly stupid thing that I did on Saturday. Accidentally left over $10,000.00 sitting in an unlocked drawer from the end of Saturday shift....unbelievable. Oh, my God. I can't believe that I was the one that found it, that nobody else knew about it. It's the kind of thing that could get me fired, and just by sheer dumb luck, by perfect serendipity it resolved itself. How could I have left it there?! Pure stupidity. My heartrate didn't go back to normal for at least 1/2 an hour...it could have been soo bad. It's like my get-out-of-jail-free card.

All day long I was craving macaroni and cheese, my own. That's one of the problems with being a good cook; you end up with a yen for something homemade and you have to make it yourself. So I went to the store and bought all the stuff, feeling smug about all the silly people who buy box macaroni when it's so easy to make it from scratch. Right. Let me preface this by saying that I've made mac-n-cheese at least one million and a half times, over and over and over again; I could make it in my sleep. I've taught it to my little brother even. But tonight, it all goes to pieces, the sauce "split" into a lumpy curdy mess instead of creamy smoothness. I don't know what happened...I almost cried. D rescued the situation and we went to La Madeleine's instead, but what bad luck! Or bad something! The worst of it is that I'm still craving the mac!

I'll have to try it again tomorrow, I guess!

I'm back!

Ack! For some crazy reason we had no internet access for the last two days and the phone line is all fuzzy. It gets like this sometimes because we get service with one company but the other company owns the lines at the apartment complex. They get really confused by it sometimes and disconnect our line. I don't know if that's what's happened this time, or if the dogs messed up the wires with the constant running and wrestling and otherwise bad treatment.

The dogs....KK called at 6:30 yesterday evening; is it all right if she leaves the puppy here for a few hours while she's out on a date? "A few hours"... I swear is what she said. Well it's noon the next day and she hasn't come back for the damn dog yet. And because she didn't specify overnight we figured she be back by midnight or so, so we didn't walk her or feed her (the dog) or anything before going to bed, because K does that when she picks her up. So I'm about 90% really pissed off at being treated like a living all-hours un-paid day-care center for her dog and about 10% worried stiff that something happened to her. As soon as I hear from her I can be 100% royally pissed off. I mean, she's got a great deal going here; she leaves the dog with us whenever she's at work and often when she's out, so we watch it (for free) probably 5 or 6 days a week. And we have watched her overnight during things like NIN concerts, but K would clear it with us ahead of time. She has to push just a little too far though, and take advantage of it. What a brat. Sometimes being nice backfires all over the place and leaves you angry. I'm going to go leave another pissy voicemail for her now. (I hope she's ok.)

Well, I'm off to the mall to get some things and to get another angel off the Salvation Army tree. This is such a great idea-- you get to pick out a kid that needs stuff for the holidays and buy it specifically and they tell you all the clothes-sizes etc.; much better than putting toys in the big barrels and hoping they go to someone they'd suit. But the great part is that we're doing this in lieu of buying presents for Mom and Dad, who have all the "stuff" they need and would rather not get more (unless it's maple fudge) so all the money we could spend buying books and sweaters and CDs for my deserving but distinctly un-needy parents is better distributed. Two kids split between D and me and KK should be about right-- they say average of 60-70 dollars per angel. And it is so much easier; what to buy is right on the form. The one I already got, for instance, wants Spiderman sheets and Tonka trucks; much easier than trying to choose a book for an English professor who in reality only reads non-fiction for fun and only really wants the fudge. From scratch though. Not store-bought fudge, no.


UPDATE

K called, she's fine. Just got really really drunk last night. I'm still mad but not as much. The curse of older-sister-hood, I guess.

Updatedness

So, I didn't really get sick, which makes me happy. God bless the power of Advil and Sudafed. By the time I got home on Wednesday, I felt well enough to change the cat box and aquarium and do the dishes. (yay, all.)

My "mail-order" internet fishtank plants arrived yesterday-- so far they are an unqualified success! The fishtank looks like a little underwater jungle (photo coming soon); the fish adore it. They're swimming all over, darting around...look like they're playing games with each other, tag or hide and seek. Even Earl seems happy. I'm going to wait and see if the plants live a week before getting too exited about them though.

I spent the better part of Thursday morning planting the tank, then went to Borders, then to Barnes and Noble (heh) for coffee with Ben. If it hadn't been for the bank meeting last night, it would have been a great day! The meeting got me down, though. We have one teller that's just dead weight. She brings our numbers down...she's so incredibly slow! slow like a sloth...like a really slow, really dim sloth. sloth. Anyways.

I think I messed up tonight...I'm going out to dinner with some friends and can't go see Harry Potter! I don't know if my brother thinks I'm taking him or not...I wonder if he'll go on Saturday instead. Damn. I actually dreamed last night that I was Harry. It was so weird; I took over the Care of Magical Creatures class for Hagrid and it really pissed Hermione off. I really prefer the nights that I don't dream, or don't remember!

Living with the phlegm

I think I'm getting sick...or is that too optimistic? I am getting sick. My throat is sore, my glands swollen, my head is all fuzzy and foggy. Tonight I shall eat a bowl of chili, take some Nyquil, and go to bed at 8:30. It's the only way to deal with it. Silly girls at the bank, bringing all their viruses and all their bacteria into the bank to infect me...

I ended up working almost 12 hours yesterday. The schedule was 8:00 till 6:15 but Kristin calls me at 6:50am, frantic, because she didn't have her keys...the keys that open the vault, that you can't open the bank without. So I start my day early rushing to the bank with no shower, no breakfast, NO COFFEE. Bad way for Mara to start the day. Then at closing, my co-closer came up "over", so I had to audit her (even though she's my supervisor) and we didn't get out till after 7:00. Seven till seven; how much did that suck? I managed to drag myself to the store to get chili fixins for dinner because a bowl of chili will clear your sinuses and make your eyes water. Work was just so busy yesterday, when I finally settled on the sofa, I felt like I'd just gotten off one of those moving sidewalks at the airport where suddenly everything feels slow. Or like a hamster that got too exited and fell off its wheel. I was so tired that even the idea of writing my blog was tiring.

A special on ground beef in large packages means that I made like 5 pounds of chili last night. My crockpot is full to the brim; that baby will feed us for a week. Mmm, chili. Meanwhile, I'm chain-drinking throat-soothing tea and being easy on myself.

Tomorrow is my day off, but I'm not planning anything till I see how I feel. What I want to do: aquarium maintenance, some serious cookie-baking, Borders. I'll probably just rest instead.

Today was a blessedly slow day at the bank; I'm actually writing this blog from work; something I've never done before. Technically I don't have internet access; one of my friends logged me on. Kind of like stealing cable. Well, I'm out of here now; must go home and sleep.

My new sub-title

I actually found this quote on a greeting card. Not a Hallmark card, but still. I looked online but I can't find out who "Souza" was; why wouldn't they put the whole name on the card? I hate not having the source...too many years of writing papers and referencing.

I'm constantly feeling like I'm waiting for my life to begin, or to begin again...I guess this is a popular emotion, hence the cliches of

"life is not a dress rehearsal"
"happiness is a journey not a destination"
"live each day blah blah blah"

but even if everyone else feels the same way it doesn't dilute my own feeling. I'm always thinking; once I get a better job, once we move, once we get married, once we start a family....then life will really get going. I spend an awful lot of time dreaming about the future, planning for it and yet today was once the future. I distinctly remember thinking at one point about "after I graduate..."; well, that was two years ago now. But this; this is my life too. Right now. These daily walks, dinner, the bank... this is my life. And as long as I'm living I'm not wasting it; it's just a matter of awareness, or purpose. So, I put this quote in my blog where I'll see it every day, to remind me. Because I actually like my life a lot, when I stop to think about it, and in the future I don't want to look back and see a lot of waiting.

This is just to say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold



William Carlos Williams

Basically one of my favorite poets, and poems, ever.

Unavailable

So, it's 9:30 friday night and I'm on my own; writing my blog with the animals for company. Is this deja vu, or is D working a lot of late nights? Actually I guess last night was the quarterly manager event. And tonight they're having some crisis at the hotel; the phone computer and the front-desk computer are no longer communicating. Are they together? Have they fought? D must stay and play computer-system marriage counselor until the hotel is running smoothly again.

I spent a lot of time today on the aquarium, changing the water, vaccuuming the gravel, changing one filter and scrubbing the walls. We've really let it go to a certain extent re the cleaning. Cats and dogs are so good at telling you what they need; to go out, to eat, to have their litterbox cleaned. A fishtank just gets gently greener as the algae takes over. I ordered a bunch of new plants last night on the internet-- no idea how that's going to go. Live water-plants through mail-order...hmm. Earl seems okay today, his fin is out and he's swimming around but that could just be the shock of the Giant Hand reaching in, removing the classy decorative castle, and cleaning. I'd swim away from that, myself. I'll keep changing the water every other day and scrubbing the tank until we're in the clear again.

Had dinner at Cafe Amore with KK after taking our dogs to the dog park and had a thought-provoking conversation about availability. Guys love her, they all want her, partly because she's really hard to get. I don't mean that she plays hard to get in that obnoxious girly way, just that she's both really busy socially and she's really picky. One of my friends in Vermont was like that; guys just fell for her, always. Anyways, KK's dating this guy but she's a little turned off by his constant availability. We're all attracted to people who are more elusive, why? Is it because having a life is attractive, that it indicates a well-rounded, interesting person? Is it that we like people who have a seal of approval from others in the form of a busy social network, in the way that guys with girlfriends look cuter?

I was at a party last year after a Saturday night waiting tables. I just wanted to relax and have a drink before going home; I didn't know most of the people there. I was just resting in a lawn chair, drinking a beer and playing with the host's dog, chatting a little with him (the host not the dog) and with the guy next to me, who liked to travel. This guy and his friend decide that I'm really cool, that I'm more interesting than the other girls there who are running around, squealing and giggling. They can't figure out why though. I know why. It's because I'm not interested in them. My sweetie is at home fast asleep, and I'll be seeing him soon. I'm not flirting, not trying to be attractive, not trying to maintain their interest. I'm basically completely unavailable to them, which paradoxically is attractive. The funny thing is that if I were single it would never've worked. heh. Human nature is a bitch.

Fish and cookies

I'm a little worried about my aquarium....Earl looks kinda bad off. I hope he doesn't die, because Speeder will be devastated. They're schooling fish and are always together, but now Earl is listing in the near corner and his fins are folded in. They're red wag-tail platy fish, or something like that, and we haven't lost one of those yet. So far the only goners have all been cory cats. Well, tomorrow will be a super-cleaning of the tank. Maybe that will make him feel better. Especially as I've been warned away from going to Borders due to a breakout of the Black Death among the staff there. Thanks for the head-up, Ben! I know where not to spend my day off!

This is my Cathy, guarding the fish from predators. Isn't she protective? Cathy is named for the comic strip and its author. It contains "cat", too, which is convenient. And an "h", in case some herbs come along. And a "y", which is just cheating at Scrabble. I love Scrabble but it turns into a bloodbath at my parents' house, and D can't play because he can't spell anything.

Thank you, America, for giving bankers so many holidays. Who else gets Columbus Day and Veterans Day off with pay, only a month apart? I don't think our commercial customers are expecting the bank to be closed; they'll be mad as hornets when they come by tommorow! hehehe

Today at work, one of the personal bankers pulled me into her office to talk about a "deal". Turns out if I bring her some more of my cookies, she'll give me 5 referrals. Guess I have a new fan...she said she'd give me even more for the recipe. Should I tell her it's the basic Hershey's recipe, with walnuts added? Maybe not. :)

Mississippi Idiots

Well, my sinuses are better now. Thank goodness.

D and I are watching a special on PBS about the abortion debates, pro-choice and pro-life. It's making me so frickin mad that I keep shouting stuff at the TV. One idiot guy actually referred to a 12-week fetus as a "child". It's not a child, you bastard! It's a fetus. f-e-t-u-s. You can have an opinion about abortion when you grow a uterus you little piece of shit. D says I can't throw anything else at the TV because I could break it. I might have to turn this off. I say to all you stupid shithead religious pro-lifers; if you don't want abortion, don't get one! Leave my rights out of it please. There's a huge difference between personal feelings about stuff and laws. I would not get an abortion myself but that doesn't mean that nobody else gets one either! That's so DUMB! I think I may have to move to Mississippi and open an abortion clinic now. I wonder if ovulating has an effect on my emotional state the way that PMS does.

Best abortion quote from a movie: Dogma.

Bethany: Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around?
Jay: We're here to pick up chicks.
Bethany: Excuse me?
Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?

Hehe. Dogma. One of the best movies really. I'm adding that to my movie list in my profile. Okay, I feel better and there's a new show on.

KK and I had lunch together today --Einstein's Bagels--and went shopping at World Market. I love that place, they have so much cool stuff! And it's such a variety; chocolate and wine, throw pillows and candles, dishware and furniture and baskets and statues and imported fancy foods. It's the place you'd go if you just came back from Europe and were craving some type of cookie that they only have in Sweden. It's where Nutella came from back before the grocery stores started stocking it. All I got were some taper candles though, and K picked up lunch. Good girl not spending money!

Tomorrow I go back to work. But Friday is a bank holiday. Thanks, veterans, for everything and for the day off. D is a war veteran. I should thank him personally...I wonder how much "light exercise" he's really up for. Yep, definitely ovulating.

Sinus Heck

Because it's not quite bad enough to be sinus hell; I've been there before. Going to bed with a sinus headache and waking up with it in the morning still. Bleargh. I need this weather to change already. Went on the Long Trek with Alice, thinking that some exercise and fresh air would clear my head. Hehe. Walking when you can't breathe= pretty dumb idea. But my drink was good at least.

D had his Dr's appt this morning to discuss the results of the MRI. (If you're dyslexic like I am, you can type "resluts" for "results" which is really funny! To me anyways. Resluts. Hehehe. What would that be exactly?) Anyways, it turns out that he has not one but three "bulging" discs in his spine, which are also "arthritic". The doctor wants to know what the heck D does for a living to have an injury like that plus the myriad scars and things decorating him. He doesn't know the half of it; sometimes I think D is like a cat with 9 lives- he's gone through so much stuff. Good news though: none of the discs are actually herniated or "exploded" so D probably doesn't need surgery! Yay! He has an appointment with a surgeon to discuss the thing next month though, just to make sure. For now, he's just to continue with the physical therapy and the Celebrex, plus the doctor talked to him about his weight and chlorestorol-- not that he actually tested D's chol. You'd think he would what with everything else. D got the go-ahead for light exercise; walking but no running, etc. I am trying to interest him in yoga but he says it's only interesting when I do it. He's worse than the pets honestly, coming up behind me during Downward Dog. No wonder I try to do it in an empty house. It would do him a lot of good though, like the physical therapy. I may have to make some "arthritic old man" jabs to get him to join me.

Last night I made a chicken chowder with corn and potatoes. It was good, and easy, and it made a ton. I love my crock-pot. It can be tonight's dinner if nothing appears by then. I must take a shower in another futile attempt to clear my head, and call KK to see if she wants to get lunch. I think then I'll try to work on my desk-- it's been awfully abandoned down there in the garage. Staring at me accusingly every time I get out of my car. "I don't belong here! Paint me, finish me, take me upstairs!" Yes, the furniture talks to me. So what? It's not telling me to kill people or something.

What a nice weekend!

I feel almost like a real grown-up, with the whole weekend off and everything. This might become a regular thing as my boss is thinking about giving all the full-time staff Saturdays off and making the part-timers work it. I don't know how I feel about this yet. If it creates too much discord among the staff it won't be worth it, for me anyways, because it's such a small group. On the other hand, the part-timers are being awfully precious about when they can and can't work and it won't hurt to be a little tougher on them.

Yesterday D and I spent the whole day together; breakfast at Cafe Brazil, a movie, grocery shopping. So nice. Dreamer was a pretty decent movie. I went out last night with some of the girls from the bank, which was fun. They bugged me a little for leaving D at home but the truth is that we both need our "alone time" to relax. Also true that he would not much enjoy going out with them but I didn't say so. One of our old compadres, Selena, turned up which was great; she was one of my favorite co-workers until she was let go and went to another bank. She likes to cook too and we used to discuss and compare food stuff all the time, but not in the overly competitive way that Kristin does.

I made a frittata this morning (sp?) which was really good. Spinach on my half only. The thing is, D and I got into the habit of going out to breakfast any week-end day that we both were off but lately that would be two days in a row. So, I tried to stock up on the bacon and eggs (and coffee, milk, oj, potatoes, etc) neccessary to attempt a home-cooked breakfast. I thought the fritatta would be a good way of having one hot thing instead of the usual eggs hot, bacon already cold, lukewarm toast. Also a way to trick D into having a lot less bacon. :) Now if only he'd eat the spinach! I told him about the curry connection and he said we'll have to try it. I've never made a curry before but it can't be that hard.

Spent today post-frittata reading, picking up the house a (very) little, getting my brownie pan back from Borders. I have the next two days off as the last of my vacation time for the year. I really need to look into our wedding plans or my mom will be pissed, plus it does need to get done. She suggested going on a cruise and being married by the ship captain-- eerily echoing what Ben said! Definitely worth looking into: small, non-traditional, and efficient; wedding and honeymoon in one fell swoop! I love fell swoops. Makes me think of swords and dashing musketeers and Aragorn. Swoop. Hehe. Wedding swoops.

What we've agreed on so far:

As small as we can make it in terms of guests and hoopla.
Chocolate for the cake. Or cupcakes.
Something different.
No big white dress, here-comes-the-bride, etc.

Well, here's to planning. I can't believe some girls like this stuff. Must go now to eat the steak and baked potatoes a la D. Yummy.

Friday

Just one of those days. I didn't sleep at all well last night and today everybody at work was super-annoying. Maybe not such a coincidence after all, come to think of it. On the one hand, Evelyn. She has so little confidence in herself that she asks questions constantly-- questions she knows the answers to already. On a busy day, this is just too much. Just do what you'd do if I wasn't standing next to you, dammit. I'm not a freakin babysitter. On the other hand, Halima. She finds herself 50 dollars short and doesn't do a thing for the next, what, 2 hours except try to find it. The money is gone, girl. It might come back later but meanwhile I've got a line here in the drivethrough and there's one in the lobby too. Work, please. And I got to work between them. In the background is our assistant manager who just chatters on endlessly and doesn't help. Lucky me! My "attitude" got noticed by all and got me nothing but mockery. Watch out for Mara! More sarcastic than usual, even! Like wanting everybody else to just do their damn job is such an attitude problem. If everyone had one we might get more done.

Well thank you, blog-land, for letting me vent that a little. I feel so much better now. D and I had dinner at this nice little Italian place that's really close to our apartment. Our waiter, Jeff, is actually an old co-worker of mine from my waitressing days. (You know, last year.) He's good friends with Cathy and Jason that I ran into a few blogs ago--a real week for run-ins. Although I guess eating where you know someone works doesn't fall under coincidence. They have the best fettuccini alfredo anywhere. ahh.

D was just watching some history-channel show on bombs. It said something like, "when gunpowder was first discovered/ created in the ___th century, people were scared and thought it was a tool of the devil". This is in a very superior tone of voice of course. But who's to say that gunpowder and bombs etc aren't a tool of evil? Were those sailors so wrong? As Eddie Izzard says, guns don't kill people, but the gun helps. I hate the history channel. Which is funny because I love history. Bill Maher has the former president of Ireland on; she seems like a great lady. Ireland is so on my list. Why can't we have a cool woman-prez here? This country is so backwards sometimes.

Random bits

My hand is all better now. The only remaining thing is the dark marks made by the black electrical tape I used to hold the bandage on all yesterday. I look like I've been drawing on the back of my hand, or that I'm into bondage.

Alice and I did the Long Trek today which was nice--we haven't gone in ages. I had a Starbucks and she got lots of acorns. I got back just in tim to get ready for work, which was so boring and lame. I guess that's better than stressful and chaotic, a little. Got two credit cards, nothing else. It turns out that I don't get so much vacation next week as I thought b/c they pro-rated my vacation time from when I was "part time". Like I ever actually worked only 20 hours a week. Oh well. It's still paid time off, which can't be beat. What I really need it a job that is interesting, challenging, pays twice as much but with the same benefits. Who's hiring? Hehe.

It's amazingly quiet here in the apartment tonight. D is still at work, the dogs are both asleep. How can I keep them this way? Cathy (my cat) is cuddling up next to me because she's cold. She's one of those cats that love belly scratches. I should really start dinner but that involves finding out if the fish I bought 2 days ago just before caterpillar incident is still fresh and cookable. Ick. I hate those kind of investigations. I was going to cook it last night but by the time I got home D had dinner made already. My sweetie.

Well, must check fish and start dinner now.

Sucky-update

Well, my hand is almost normal again now. Just an oval of angry red marks and some tenderness, but not much pain. D has declared war on all puss caterpillars and has fine-combed our patio looking for stowaways. He's one of those men that can't stand to see his honey in pain. He knows what to do for bad periods, for migraines, for the flu, but for venomous caterpillars there is no cure but to KILL THEM ALL for making me hurt. Poor guy. It's hard on him.

This whole poison-caterpillar thing grabbed all of my attention earlier so I didn't think about everything else. I ran into some old co-workers Cathy and Jason from the restaurant yesterday, at Central Market. It made me realize that I actually miss people from that job. When I "quit" (got fired) I never went back so I guess I cut a lot of ties. I used to play poker with them before I started at the bank. C and J are a cute couple first because they're both the type of person that you can't imagine staying with anyone for more than 2 days but they've been with each other for awhile now. Second b/c they're both so short that hugging either one leaves me staring over their heads. I'm not a "huggy" type person anyways. Cathy just always grabs me. She's one of the only girls I know that looks better as a highlighted-blonde. It just matches her somehow. Not that she's dumb--she's not--just, well, blonde. Anyways, they told me that Keith my old manager quit in a fury last week. I need to talk to him b/c I have his books that he lent me. So. She will call me with his number so that I can call him to see if he wants them back.

This is why I don't like to borrow stuff.

But I would like to see Keith again. We got on well. And etc.

Where was I? Oh yes. Yesterday I was culinarily inspired after reading the book (see prev. post) but instead of buying ox I got a pumpkin. I had the seeds toasting and the hull baking, plus black-bean soup when the caterpillar fiasco occured. It was all I could do to get it all off the heat. Pumpkin seeds are good for the prostate. I don't have one of those so I made them for D who does. (I assume. I haven't seen it b/c it's internal. Right?)

Ah, stream of consciousness. Works best when I'm tired. Didn't sleep much last night even with all the drugs due to the pain. I'm watching Ellen Degeneres stand-up now. She's so funny. Signing off now to watch Ellen and go to bed.

Suckyness to the extreme degree

Yesterday evening I was stung by a PUSS CATERPILLAR, also known as a "wooly slug". Have you ever heard of this? I remember KK briefly mentioning that her bf/roomie was bitten by something fluffy earlier this summer.

This was some of the WORST pain-- absolutely agonizing-- that I've ever been in, period. It ranks up there with my worst migraines and the Paris/ food poisioning incident. It started off just feeling like a wasp sting (localized) on my hand and within half an hour my whole arm was burning and aching and I was so restless and anxiety-ridden that I had to pace the apartment. D suggested a walk, so we went out and walked for a long time.
The websites I visited mentioned that symptoms vary according to victim, from mild stinging to severe pain. Gee, I guess I know where I fall on that spectrum. It makes sense I guess, I'm super-sensitive to all chemicals. It's why one drink makes me tipsy, why fabric softener gives me a headache and bleach, migraines; why a case of poison ivy landed me in the ER. Of COURSE I'll have the worst possible reaction to a freakin caterpillar. Well, not the worst. I guess it didn't kill me.

It was so unfair-- what kind of bad karma makes for this kind of thing? I was just minding my business. It's so random. D said it's not karma, shit just happens sometimes. He went out to the balcony and karmaized the little beast into squishy pieces for me. I took half of one of his codeines (mmm, Vicodin) and two benedryls but they didn't do a damn thing except help me finally get to sleep. I had to sleep on the futon b/c of all the thrashing and moaning--didn't want to keep my honey awake. I was in the middle of making a nice dinner for us when all this happened and he ended up eating some hot-pockets from the freezer that my little brother left here. I don't remember eating anything.

My hand still hurts pretty badly, and it looks really funky-- a big red blotch with this pattern of smaller, redder spots in it. I've got to go to work so I can't take any medicine now.

Hallowe'en

Wow, did work suck today. Frantically busy and I came up $200 over at the end of the day. Balancing my drawer is my pride and joy at work so this is a sore blow. I hope it comes to light tomorrow. Plus we had to be in costume, so I had to explain mine many times. At least my cookies were very popular--of all the pot-luck stuff brought in, they were the first thing gone. Nobody I work with bakes.

I have come to the startling realization that I need to lose a little weight again. I pulled on my "big comfy size 10" cordoroys yesterday (cuz of the period) and now they fit perfectly. So, I am swearing off the following for awhile:

candy
Starbucks and Borders mochas etc.
cookies
donuts
icecream
cream sauces
etc.

Until they are baggy again like they should be. No need to go blimping out now. This will dovetail nicely with my twin goal of NOT SPENDING MONEY on nonnecessities. My finances are not in good shape. This month my Discover card is being grounded. It's going to SIT IN THE CORNER for the month and think about what it's done. It's been very bad. So, oatmeal for breakfast, yogurt for lunch, and green tea at Borders until I'm flush and svelte. Or at least until the size 10's are appropriately baggy again and my DC balance is zero.

Eddie Izzard has a great skit about public speaking being 80% how you say it. I know he's right because we're watching Bill Maher. I actually agree with Bill on maybe 90% of his stuff, but I don't like the guy because of how he says it. Same with Dennis Miller. They're so angry and whiny. Why can't liberals be funny without being so damn self-righteous? I guess they're not really worse than the conservatives--it's just that I turn them off before I can even get mad.

But, tomorrow's a day off! I think I'll....decide tomorrow how to spend it. Mmmm. And tonight is nice. D built a fire--he's great with fire--and it's a nice cool night. If there's one thing I like about our apartment, it's having a fireplace on All Hallow's Eve; I think it sounds better that way. Spooky. Eventhough it's just a beautifully quiet evening. Ah well.

Update

It's 7 Sunday and I'm baking chocolate chip cookies, topless, listening to Janis Joplin, and having such a good time here that I almost don't want to leave for this party. I need the cookies for the work pot-luck tomorrow and some for the party tonight. (like me! I bake! like me!) My cookies always come out 13 to a sheet. It's kind of weird, like I can't put an even dozen onto a cookie sheet or something.

Oh, because I don't have an apron and didn't want to get flour on my sweater. And because it's more fun this way.

Honey, I love to go to parties/ And I like to have a good time,
But if it gets too pale after a while/ Honey and I start looking to find
One good man./ Hmm, don’t you know I’ve been searching,
Oh yes I have!/ One good man,Oh ain’t much, honey ain’t much,
It’s only everything, whoa.

Wow, I amazingly sound nothing at like like Janis, more's the pity. But nobody's here but the dogs and they don't care. My dad's newest book just came out and he gave me a copy to have. I guess I'll read it but boy do I dislike Hemingway. This is it:

My dad's book

Update:

"Party" was totally lame. I should have trusted my intuition that I'd have more fun staying at home finishing the cookies instead of going to hang out with over-enthusiastic drunk people. You know how they are; they LOVE you, your the COOLEST chick ever, these cookies are the BEST. They were pretty boring. D has left his cell here at the apartment so I can't reach him. I guess I'll just finish up the cookies, take a hot bath and go to bed so that I can face the music tomorrow morning.

Sunday

I've just finished reading a book called Julie & Julia, a non-fiction about a woman who decides to make every recipe in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking within one year in her tiny apartment kitchen. I loved it because this is the kind of thing I'd think of doing myself, and because this woman cooks the way I do: ingredients splattered all over the stove, walls, floor, fridge like some kind of violent crime scene, sweating, swearing like a sailor, total intimidation by huge hunks of meat, and episodes like this:
"... when realizing at the very moment I'm meant to add boiling milk to the rapidly darkening roux that I have not in fact put the milk on to boil."
I've done that. (more than once.)

People who don't enjoy cooking assume that to enjoy it is to be good at it. That's nonsense. You could love baseball even if you batted a (what's a bad baseball score? a 1.0? it's like GPA, right?) I enjoy bowling even though I usually bowl less than 100, because to me it's a social thing, a change of scene from a barstool. I love to cook, I cook enthusiatically; but no, I'm not great at it. That's the impression that this Julie woman gives-- that it's a labor of love.

So, now I'm in the mood to butcher an ox and cook it for dinner, but I've been invited to a party instead. I don't think they'd appreciate ox so I'll bring beer instead.

I got to sleep in extra late today because of Daylight Savings reverting to normal and b/c of my period, which gives me the right to say to HELL with it, I'm sleeping till noon, with the heating pad and some of D's prescription muscle relaxers. I didn't even notice that it was 4 or 5 days late this month, because why would it matter? Using that ultra-fail-safe birth control called abstinence means that I haven't been counting days. But as far as that goes it might be getting better soon. I think. D seems cheefuller of late, and less-in-pain than he was before. He's at work now doing the end-of-month report stuff.

Why does the heating pad say that you can't put it between yourself and the bed? That's so stupid. Of course that's where it goes.

Well if I'm going out tonight I have to get ready for tomorrow, I'm opening at the bank for the first time in months. Must iron clothes, wash dishes, pack lunch because I'll be useless in the morning after sleeping in for so many days and having to be there before 7:00 in the morning.

Party

Yesterday was one of those really hectic days that ended well. I had to go back to work, which felt weird. Vacation felt more natural, so I'm starting to think that maybe I should just be a lady of leisure instead of a working stiff. Still working out the details on how to do that though.

Rushed home from work to shower, make a double-batch of brownies, etc., while D took a nap. I let him sleep too long and he woke up so grumpy that even brownies didn't help. So, it was pretty surprising that he ended up having a great time at the halloween party later. Even dressed as a dementor. The whole party was so reminescient of the ones we used to go to (and have) in Vermont that we have started a theory about "bookstore people" being the same breed everywhere. D has dubbed Professor Lockhart and all his friends as "real people". This is one of his highest compliments, and 'real people' are harder to come by down here in Texas. One thing I like about him is that he doesn't require supervision at parties and things--I can leave him talking to someone or out smoking and go somewhere else. Some guys want to be glued at the hip all the time which gets old. I was pretty nice about the smoking, too; only the barest minimum of carping, griping, bitching, nagging, and general guilt-tripping about it. So, a great time had by all, or in this case both. Yay!

Costume Fiasco

ARGH. I'm having the worst luck with costume stuff. I might as well spill it now; my original idea was to dye my hair red and be Lily Potter. But my hair is apparently impervious to red dye; I followed all the instructions and it's still resolutely brown. Poor D--he was really looking foward to me as a redhead. Almost indecently so, come to think of it. So, I'm having an 11th-hour costume change that involved a long trek around the mall collecting the stuff I need. I hate the mall. Hate it. Plan B should be pretty cute though. D is definitely a dementor now. We fixed the face problem and I'm sewing the robe up tonight.

This week is going by very fast. Vacation time should be slower I think.

Vacation- heh

I finally feel like blogging again--I don't know what was up with the last few days. Maybe, by not working, I just didn't have anything to vent or rant about! I'm annoyed now because my Halloween costumes just aren't working out as planned. I was going to order some things off of Amazon.com but I've never used it before for that (use it all the time for the book reviews, just don't buy stuff) and when I read the fine print it turns out that "ships in 1-2 days" doesn't mean that that's when it gets to your house, it means that's when it gets to Amazon for them to ship it. I guess I waited too long but I always thought that they shipped really fast.

So, today I shall go to craft stores and party stores and the mall to make up for the online fiasco. It'll be fun. D and I had a problem with the dementor idea. I realized that it's not just a cape--they have really scary deadish faces underneath, which would require either a mask or a lot of makeup. Masks are no fun; they make you all hot and irritable, plus you can't really see, talk, eat, drink...

D hates the idea of makeup, says it reminds him of the army and wearing camo a lot. He says that the army doesn't give you cold cream to take it off, you have to buy it yourself, which I think is mean. ("All you have is that "nighttime" look and that's a bit slap-dash."--Eddie Izzard re: the 1st Transvestite Batallion or something) Because a dementor would be full-makeup, not just a little eyeliner or something. D's afraid that in the cloak without makeup he'll look "more like an Ewok" than anything else. Aww, my little hobbit. Professor Lockhart, you should expand your party theme to include LOTR, yes? D would hardly need a costume at all, maybe just a green waist-coat and some glued-on foot-hair.

I've been cleaning my apartment for the last few days. The fact that it's not done yet should indicate how bad off it was before. I'd neglected the aquarium--it needs another water change today b/c there's so much stuff in the gravel plus several new plants that haven't been chewed on. I was relieved to do a fishventory and find all present and accounted for. Hardy little things. KK brought her new hand-held carpet shampooer (sp?) to do our stairs--her puppy has made it resemble nothing so much as a Jackson Pollock painting. "Dog Owners' Stairs in Yellow and White". Now they look really good except for the vertical parts--the steamer doesn't work on those.

KK has me a little worried actually, just b/c we've been seeing so much of her lately. She's been spending every evening over here, which isn't like her. And which may be why I haven't written my blog come to think of it. She's usually so social; spending so much time holed up with her sister and brother-in-law (to be) in our apartment is odd. But, she did say that she's completely broke and we feed her when we can. Darn vegetarians--you have to plan ahead or be creative when feeding them. D did a chili last night, with meatless chile (chile non carne, hehe) for her. Well, she did go that NIN concert last week, too. It just seems that ever since she and her boyfriend (to be called Asshole in future reference, or drug-addicted, lazy, directionless, not-good-enough-to-even-look-in-my-little-sister's-direction, will-shoot-to-kill-on-next-meeting...well, Asshole is more succint) and moved into an apartment sans gay-best-friend early summer, she's over here a lot. I hope she's not lonely in her place or something, even though it's nice to see her.

Well, off to shopping expedition. It's very important to make the pet supply place the last stop, otherwise you have this baggy filled with water and plant material to deal with. Live and learn, I say.

No more margaritas.

Hmmm. I have realized retrospectively that my last post might have been misleading in a wink-wink sort of way. I didn't mean that I was happy in a "yay-D's-back-in-my-bed" sort of way; if that were the case I'd come right out and say so as is my style, so to speak. He's been feeling a little better lately though and has been in a better mood, which is certainly contagious. And of course I'm exited at the prospect of having a week's vacation. My super-good moods worry me a little in the same way that the depression does just because I can't tell where it's coming from either way. Why am I feeling down today, or why am I so giddy? It's two sides of the same coin. Both sides are mild and stable enough not to be anything nameable, like manic depression or something.

I went out last night with a friend from work with a big bunch of her friends to this place that gives away margaritas because they have no liquor liscense yet. I had three small ones (not those huge mugs or anything) but for me that's a whole lot b/c I have no alcohol tolerance at all. Any drug tolerance, actually. I find it quite convienent most of the time, but then I've never been anywhere that refills your margarita glass when it's empty as though it's iced tea or water. I came home buzzed and happy and D laughed a me a bit in a kindly sort of way.

Unfortunately the feeling didn't last; I couldn't sleep for anything and had bad nightmares, woke up with a headache that lasted most of the day. A sinus headache, not a hangover.

Went to Borders, bought two new Agatha Christies and a mocha. I read one while I was there too but it read funny; very stiff-sounding and not like the others I'd read. Turned out that it was actually an adaptation by someone else from a play that she wrote, which explains a lot. You can't really adapt a play into a novel very well. Christie always has insights into people's thoughts (what's that called, omnicient something) and this book was all conversation and observation, plus it all seemed to take place in one room-the set. Also explains why the plot was so easy to figure out that I got it in one.

Online today I found the work of this girl who does Harry Potter artwork--it's so good! She's only 19 and lives right in my neck of the woods (or endless suburbia). Link to her site: http://acciobrain.ligermagic.com/

I'm going out with my best friend soon, she should be here to pick me up in a little while. I haven't seen her in some time so we've got a lot to catch up on. It's funny that we're still good friends because we're as different as could be in a lot of respects. But we've been BBF's since seventh grade pretty much (back when we said stuff like that) and it's always good to talk to her, even if she did vote for Bush. Twice. I think that we'll stick to coffee and stay away from margaritas tonight though.

Happy mood

I don't know why, but all day I've been in the best mood. Almost too good- bouncing around annoying everybody I work with, cheerfully rejecting checks and smiling at the grumpy customers. I can't believe I have next week all off, and my referral goal for the month is already met so I don't have to worry about that. One of my coworkers had some chocolate in the freezer and gave me some--she said later that maybe chocolate isn't good for me. Makes me happy though! KK left her dog with us overnight last night b/c she went to a NIN concert and got home late. D was happy about it--I think he'd like to keep that dog if we could. I wouldn't so much.

D fixed the mistakes I made on the desk and sanded it all smooth. I have to repaint a lot of stuff but it will come out nicely now. I can't wait to get started again on it--I just need some uninterrupted time to get to it.

I've been on an Agatha Christie kick lately; read another one yesterday. I always get so close to figuring it out. Next time I'm determined to get it--I think I'm onto her strategies. There's always one piece of evidence that only comes from one sourse. The murderer in every one so far has been right in the thick of things--a family member or lover. Next time I'm going to slow down, read carefully, and figure out the whole thing before the denoument. I'll buy a new one Thursday my day off.

Last night was roast beef; tonight is Roast Beef Returns. Roast Beef Strikes Back? Roast Beef and the Temple of Doom? It's sequel night!

Field of Dreams

Watching Field of Dreams right now...what a good movie. Right now Kevin Costner is trying to kidnap James Earl Jones using his finger as a gun. Yesterday I had a James Earl Jones sound-alike in the bank. I almost mentioned it but then I figured he probably gets that a lot. (Did you know you sound like Darth Vader?)

I don't know if I would be as patient as the wife in this movie. I'd be more,
"what do you mean you want to plow under the corn and build a professional baseball diamond for ghosts to play ball on? Are you NUTS?"

I got a letter today from Grandma thanking me for the apple-cake I sent for the new year. She said she's been trying to call me, which I thought was weird (I haven't gotten any unknown calls lately) until she wrote the number--it's half mine and half my parents' which doesn't add up to a whole number at all. I don't know how much she knows about cell phones so she might be leaving messages on some stranger's message machine. I'll write her back with the right number Monday. If only she had email!

Now Costner's just walked out of a motel room right into the past, to interview Moonlight Graham. What's great is that I never see this movie all the way though, so I don't remember what happens next.

Today actually went really smoothly at the bank. No real problems, no terrible customers, nothing. I could use more shifts like that. I'm really looking forward to my vacation week. Getting stuff done, lazing around, making my Halloween costume; it'll be great. And I'll get paid for it. Never in my life have I had paid vacation.

D was just telling me about something he read in the paper about how men with potbellies (like him) cheat less on their wives. I think this is probably true, but he doesn't like my view that guys like him just have fewer options. They look more happily-married and well-fed. I don't think I could trust a married guy with a six-pack--why is he trying so hard?

I love how this movie treats time as something plastic, so that a driver in the late 80's can pick up a hitchhiker from the 20's. Past and present are intermingled seamlessly. It's all about tying up loose ends and resolving past issues. It's not really about baseball.

Tomorrow is my day off--of course--how does the time go by so fast? Where did this week go? I feel like the older I get the faster time goes by, and I'm only 24. (and 3/4s) It's great how the bank is closed on Sundays. All the jobs I've held in the past were 7-days a week. Maybe tomorrow I can work on the desk some, build a drawer or two. I'm in the mood to bake...a cake, brownies, I don't know.

The young hitchhiker has just morphed into the old doctor in time to save the little girl, but he can't go back again. James Earl Jones is going with the ballplayers "out there", the misty land beyond the corn. It's great how this movie is set in what seems like the most boring, least mystical place ever.

Mind-dead

So, to keep things friendly, I'm going to have to ignore the first 4/5 of my day that included the hell that is the bank on Fridays. I came home and had to shower forever, just going... get work off of me...make it go away...people suck.

I realized today that the best thing about driving is being able to sing along with any song on the radio using that "my car makes me invisible" mindset. Because who cares who sees you singing along, pounding the stereo when necessary, to something like Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" or Pearl Jam's "Better Man"? They'll be gone by the next traffic light, right? (Here I go again on my own, going down the only road I've ever known....) My voice is embarassingly awful so the radio has to be able to drown it out. I actually made Alice howl once, singing along with Aerosmith's "Dream On." Arooooo!


I have to work again tomorrow, but Sunday is off at least. And Saturday is a short day. So yay!

Etc.

Yawn...so tired. Work was just hectic today. Our computer system just upgraded, which changes a lot of our procedures so everybody was freaking out. "Oh my god! How do we do this! It's different!" It's hilarious how some people automatically dislike and are scared by anything new without waiting to see if maybe it's better than the old was. Hello, it's an upgrade--it's supposed to be streamlined and easier to use, to save our time that costs the company so much....

On the plus side, the alarm-guy was back today to tie up loose ends. I took a poll among the girls, and he is adorable, so it's not just me. He brought me a new clip for my personal alarm and I felt very special. Although it is part of his job, I guess. Ah well. Vance was there as well to fix something, because that bank is falling apart always.

My back hurts. Sympathy pains for D? A long day standing up, or the whole long week? I don't know, but it wants a hot bath and a heating pad. It's very grumpy right now.

D and KK and I went to dinner-Chili's- which was fun. He and I have been spending too much time a deux lately, it was nice to have her there to lighten it up a bit. Plus, she's one of the few people that he really enjoys being around, so I think it cheered him a little. I got incredibly silly and out-of-it by the end of the meal (just tired, not drinking) and when the bill came I somehow added $38.46 + $7.00 and got "$38.53.46" That's not even a number! Pretty bad for a banker. I'm just glad I caught it before we left and fixed it. I was also about to leave my credit card in the bill and my to-go box on the table. Argh.

D had his MRI today and they aren't painful generally, but he can't lay on his back easily so laying down still for half an hour was awful. I hope he gets the results back soon. I really want to go to bed or to bath but he needs to do an employee evaluation for somebody and I always type those for him b/c he can't type--it would take him half the night and the words would be misspelled. So, on to evaluation writing.