Fabric orgy

Last night I went out to dinner with Ben, Amanda and Jordan which was great, but I went to the wrong restaurant first and waited; a bit embarrassing. There are too many clone-restaurants in that part of town! Chili's, Bennigans, Friday's, Applebee's: this intersection has them all! It's redundant! Afterwards we all went to Barnes and Noble to brainstorm baby names with them. Baby names are fun. Such an opportunity to mess with somebody's identity. Even with all the fun I still woke at 4 in the morning, which has been my pattern of late. I wake up every morning between four and five with nightmares. Some I can remember, some I can't. Sometimes the pillow is wet with tears. I don't understand it because while I miss Don it's more of a frustrating, oh-well-it'll-be-over-soon, we've-been-through-this-before kind of missing him; a dull ache and not a crying-into-the-pillow kind of grief. And while I'm a little stressed out I feel like it's all coming together now, and last night was sandwiched between dinner out with friends and breakfast out with the family, and two days off. Why the nightmares? I don't understand them, and the timing is almost spooky. Anyways.

Mom and I did a massive fabric-shopping venture today; buying up for our various quilting projects, using up gift certificates, hitting all the sales. It was so much fun. And we bought so much. I love the fabric that I'm working with at the moment--the blues and greens for the kaleidoscope quilt--but now I'm inspired by all these autumnal colors and prints; golds and oranges, rusts, leaves. I'll always be a season behind at this rate! We found this wonderful fabric store that had so many batiks! Shelves and shelves of them. They're my favorites, and most places only have a few bolts.

Funny: Last night at B&N the alarms went off as I entered the store and again as we left. I shrugged it off, thinking maybe my bank alarm or something... but the same thing happened several times when Mom and I were shopping. It embarrassed the heck out of her. Just now, when I was getting undressed, I found a security tag in my jeans that says, "remove before washing or wearing". I've washed them twice already... I can't believe I didn't notice it earlier! I thought they were just scratchy on the inside...

Tomorrow is going to be a work-day, I've got tons of stuff to do in prep for the move. Things to Goodwill, a trip to the Laundromat, vaccuuming. The fishtank. Is that thing ever really clean? No, it's not. But for now I'm going to cut more cloth into triangles, and take a hot bath. Here's hoping that the hour between 4 and 5 will quietly pass me by, and break this holding pattern of nightmares.