Saturday, February 16, 2008

Independence

Don's been away for the last couple of days; he's been suddenly, temporarily made in charge of the hotel in the next city over, (of his department within it, I mean) due to some health issues of the director there. So, he's been going down there for a few days at a time to take care of things. It's a little rough on him, between the traveling and the extra responsibility, but it's not too bad and it looks good on a resume.

I can't say it bothers me, really. Of course, I miss him; I'd rather he was here. But we've been separated many times before and it's never a big deal; each time we move, there's a period of weeks in which one of us has moved ahead and is scouting for housing, and the other remains behind tying up loose ends. Additionally, Don's job does send him around the country at times to pinch-hit for other hotels as he's doing now; he spent a few weeks working in San Diego, and almost a month in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Up until recently, we've tended to visit our families individually, especially for emergency situations. So when Don's mother was having a breast biopsy or heart surgery, or I needed to go to Michigan for a funeral, the other would stay behind and manage the household. (With pets like ours, it's hard to take off on a moments' notice.) So to be on my own for a little while is nothing new or troublesome.

I mentioned at work that Don had been away the night before and would be again that night... just making conversation, really. But one of my coworkers gasped, "Aren't you scared, to be all by yourself?" No. I'm not. I don't know if it's because I have plenty of experience being alone, because I live with two rambunctious dogs, whatever. And while I miss my sweetie, we do talk on the phone before bed whenever we're not together, and catch up on the day. I just don't fall to pieces without him, is all. Is this not normal? Surely at least one version of a healthy relationship can have room for occasional nights apart for whatever reason. Imagine what military spouses experience when their partners are deployed; they're separated for months at a time and have the added stress of knowing that their partners could be in danger. But I'm supposed to be frightened to spend the night by myself, knowing that Don is ensconced in a hotel room? It's just not my style, I guess.

2 comments:

Rachel said...

It's healthy. And unfathomable to most people. :D I get lots of comments about "how I just couldn't live by myself!" and I'm thinking..well, why not? Yet I do have lots of fears that have slowly been put to rest out of necessity. It's very nice to have a big strong man around, and it's very nice not to feel like you must have them around in order to be whole. If that makes any sense at all!

Mara said...

That makes perfect sense. When Don's here, he takes the dogs out at night, takes out the trash, gets the stubborn lids off pickle jars. But when he's not here...

I can do it too.