Update time again. Don's job interview was pushed back to this coming weekend; all Virginia-stuff is suspended in time until then. Which is ok because it felt like things were moving way too fast, snowballing out of control. I needed a chance to catch my breath and think-- this week's delay is helping with that. We broke the news to my parents, so that's off my chest a little. Except that my mom made her 'sad face' for a long time, and went very quiet. So now the single biggest worry is Breaking the Lease. Anybody looking for an apartment 1B, 1bth, 1-car garage, fp? We had a huge fight late last week over everything in our lives; work, housekeeping, sex, money, the dishes, drink, smoking, pork chops. We don't fight often so when we do it's awful, and it left me all raw and bruised (edit: emotionally, not physically) which is why I haven't posted in a bit. But, we made up and worked a few things out, so it's all okay, basically. The stress of this possible transfer brings up all kinds of issues.
Spent all day Saturday dress-shopping with my mom, which is a whole different kind of exhausting. I tried on approximately 80 million dresses in the same style-- those elegant, column-style long dresses--that all made my hips look ridiculous before acknowledging that someone with my figure apparently looks better in a flared skirt. Pooh. We're all going to Chicago weekend after next for our cousin's wedding. Now all I need is two pairs of shoes, and a ton of other stuff. Ah well.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Who knew?
What\who were you in your previous life? (Many outcomes and pics)
Congratulations, you're an old soul! You've lived so many times, that you have experienced much more than the rest of us. It's not certain what you were in your last life, but you have probably lived a life of them all. In your present life, you are wise and knowledgeable, very creative, and attract people to your shining soul. Enjoy this life, who knows what wonderous place you'll go to when it's ended.
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Worries and more worries
Well. I'm feeling a good bit better, but not 100% yet. This seems to be one of those 24-hour type viruses or something... I'm glad today is my day off so that I can take it a little easy. Alice is at the vet's to have the lump investigated. Have I mentioned the lump yet? (scrolls to check) I guess not. On Friday Don found this big lump on her neck, just below the jaw on the left side. I don't know what it is-- cyst, tumor, something. We couldn't get an appt for Saturday so today she's having a comprehensive physical, all of her shots, and a lump-checking-out. They made me leave her there instead of staying with her, something I've never done before. I hope she's ok because in 5 years she's never been to the vet all by herself... she looked happy going in, though.
Don's phone-interview went really well and they're flying him to Virginia this weekend to interview in person. This is getting serious, they wouldn't spend $1100 transporting his butt over there if they weren't reasonably certain of offering him the job. They said on the phone that his ability to do the job is beyond dispute and the only thing they're worried about is relocating-- whether he'll be happy in such a small town after Dallas, the fact that he's (essentially) married, etc. Also, that he won't stick to the job for as long as they'd like but treat it as yet another stepping stone, which is a very valid concern on their part. Anyone looking at Don's resume could see the pattern of advancement every 2-3 years; they asked him to commit to at least three years if he gets the position, which makes me happy as well-- I don't want to get settled in Virginia only to hop up and leave again. Three years is better than two, and could easily lead to 4 or 5.
The hardest next step will be telling Mom and Dad that we may (probably!) be moving out of state again. This is going to be a little painful and I'm not looking foward to it, especially given the rate that things are happening. I've arranged to have dinner over there tonight, which is unusual. They probably think that we're preggers or something like that.
Things I'm worried about the most.
1. Telling my parents, their reaction, etc.
2. Breaking our lease, especially considering that it's cosigned by the above. Can't do anything that will mess with their credit scores, but there's no way I can pay the rent through February when we're paying in Virginia, too. As soon as I know for certain, I'll have to sit down with the leasing office folks and work something out.
3. Transferring at work. There are only 5 or so branches in C-ville, compared to dozens and dozens in the Metroplex area. To even get a job I might have to cut to part-time and get a second job which would suck. And I really want to stay with the bank-- I'll have been there 2 years in November and don't want to have any more 2-year stints on my resume. Just once I'd like to stay at one company long enough to reap the benefits, instead of starting over as a new employee somewhere.
4. The vacations for this autumn that we have already lined up. We're flying from Dallas to Boston in October-- are we going to have to fly or drive back here to get that flight? I can't change the tickets. In December we're going with my family to Big Bend State Park in west Texas-- is it going to be hard to work that around a new branch at the bank and Don's new job? To drive from Virginia back to Dallas and then from Dallas out West will be more exhausting than restful. But to fly will cost too much I think.
5. Not knowing anybody and becoming a total recluse that cries every day. You know, like the *last* time we left the state.
Don's phone-interview went really well and they're flying him to Virginia this weekend to interview in person. This is getting serious, they wouldn't spend $1100 transporting his butt over there if they weren't reasonably certain of offering him the job. They said on the phone that his ability to do the job is beyond dispute and the only thing they're worried about is relocating-- whether he'll be happy in such a small town after Dallas, the fact that he's (essentially) married, etc. Also, that he won't stick to the job for as long as they'd like but treat it as yet another stepping stone, which is a very valid concern on their part. Anyone looking at Don's resume could see the pattern of advancement every 2-3 years; they asked him to commit to at least three years if he gets the position, which makes me happy as well-- I don't want to get settled in Virginia only to hop up and leave again. Three years is better than two, and could easily lead to 4 or 5.
The hardest next step will be telling Mom and Dad that we may (probably!) be moving out of state again. This is going to be a little painful and I'm not looking foward to it, especially given the rate that things are happening. I've arranged to have dinner over there tonight, which is unusual. They probably think that we're preggers or something like that.
Things I'm worried about the most.
1. Telling my parents, their reaction, etc.
2. Breaking our lease, especially considering that it's cosigned by the above. Can't do anything that will mess with their credit scores, but there's no way I can pay the rent through February when we're paying in Virginia, too. As soon as I know for certain, I'll have to sit down with the leasing office folks and work something out.
3. Transferring at work. There are only 5 or so branches in C-ville, compared to dozens and dozens in the Metroplex area. To even get a job I might have to cut to part-time and get a second job which would suck. And I really want to stay with the bank-- I'll have been there 2 years in November and don't want to have any more 2-year stints on my resume. Just once I'd like to stay at one company long enough to reap the benefits, instead of starting over as a new employee somewhere.
4. The vacations for this autumn that we have already lined up. We're flying from Dallas to Boston in October-- are we going to have to fly or drive back here to get that flight? I can't change the tickets. In December we're going with my family to Big Bend State Park in west Texas-- is it going to be hard to work that around a new branch at the bank and Don's new job? To drive from Virginia back to Dallas and then from Dallas out West will be more exhausting than restful. But to fly will cost too much I think.
5. Not knowing anybody and becoming a total recluse that cries every day. You know, like the *last* time we left the state.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
"Thank you, God, for letting me not barf in my car."
Arrrrgh. There seems to be a terrible stomach virus thingy going around work, both mine and Dons. I felt kind of okay when I got up-- terrible period pains but nothing else-- but by the time I got to work I was shaking, weak, and barfy. They sent me home, wisely. But this thing comes on fast and that drive home was the worst. I kept feeling ralphy and was going, "please God don't let me barf in my car..." when all of a sudden that Other Rumble starts and I change gears to "No wait, please don't let me crap my car, three more miles, please..."
Which I didn't. I've never been so happy to see my own commode, ever. If there is a god, she must be annoyed with me for only applying in times of trouble, but then all moms deal with that phenomenon, I guess. But after too much Advil, a long hot bath (for the cramps that did not have the grace to go away and let me deal with one thing at a time) and a long nap I feel almost human again, enough to brave the internet anyways. (I saw my face in the mirror at work and it was scary--my skin looked grey and my eyes looked yellow, like something out of Star Trek. Right now it's returned to normal colors.) Because Don was sick last night we went to bed really early, so I'm all sleeped out at the moment.
He's doing a phone-interview with the Virginia people today. I don't know if that's a precurser to an in-person interview or a substitute for it. I looked up some more things about Charlottesville online and discovered that there is NOT a Borders there. What... am I going to do with myself? Here Don was telling me that I should get another part-time job there to stem the moving-depression: "There are always people you like, in Borders bookstores. People like you. Weird people." is his theory. Not a false theory, really. (Sorry Ben and company!)
He's worried because when we moved to Vermont, I was plagued by a pretty bad depression the first 6 months or so. He keeps saying that he doesn't want to see that, again. But there were other factors in play, too, besides moving: my parents' house had just burned down a few weeks before I left, which was traumatic, two months later was September 11... hell I think the whole country got a little sad over that. I couldn't find work at first and didn't have a job at all the whole first semester, and was very isolated by not knowing anyone there but him. Not to mention that it was my first time away from home, and I missed my friends and family terribly. Things will be different this time. On the bright side, his dealing with me when I was in that state speaks volumes for his character: kind, supportive, strong. Not too many relationships are tested like that right off the bat; we'd only been dating maybe 8 months when he decided to come to Vermont with me. He left his job, packed his stuff and trekked across the country to a completely new place only to find his girfriend replaced by a new version: crying, blue, moody, raging. Poor guy.
Which I didn't. I've never been so happy to see my own commode, ever. If there is a god, she must be annoyed with me for only applying in times of trouble, but then all moms deal with that phenomenon, I guess. But after too much Advil, a long hot bath (for the cramps that did not have the grace to go away and let me deal with one thing at a time) and a long nap I feel almost human again, enough to brave the internet anyways. (I saw my face in the mirror at work and it was scary--my skin looked grey and my eyes looked yellow, like something out of Star Trek. Right now it's returned to normal colors.) Because Don was sick last night we went to bed really early, so I'm all sleeped out at the moment.
He's doing a phone-interview with the Virginia people today. I don't know if that's a precurser to an in-person interview or a substitute for it. I looked up some more things about Charlottesville online and discovered that there is NOT a Borders there. What... am I going to do with myself? Here Don was telling me that I should get another part-time job there to stem the moving-depression: "There are always people you like, in Borders bookstores. People like you. Weird people." is his theory. Not a false theory, really. (Sorry Ben and company!)
He's worried because when we moved to Vermont, I was plagued by a pretty bad depression the first 6 months or so. He keeps saying that he doesn't want to see that, again. But there were other factors in play, too, besides moving: my parents' house had just burned down a few weeks before I left, which was traumatic, two months later was September 11... hell I think the whole country got a little sad over that. I couldn't find work at first and didn't have a job at all the whole first semester, and was very isolated by not knowing anyone there but him. Not to mention that it was my first time away from home, and I missed my friends and family terribly. Things will be different this time. On the bright side, his dealing with me when I was in that state speaks volumes for his character: kind, supportive, strong. Not too many relationships are tested like that right off the bat; we'd only been dating maybe 8 months when he decided to come to Vermont with me. He left his job, packed his stuff and trekked across the country to a completely new place only to find his girfriend replaced by a new version: crying, blue, moody, raging. Poor guy.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Ack
It looks like Don is actually going to be interviewing in Virginia, or at least it's being discussed. This is way too "real" for me right now... I'm starting to feel totally freaked out. One of my co-workers said that I was very brave, to consider packing up and moving across the country, to somewhere I've never been and where I don't know a soul. I'm not brave, I'm terrified! But, what can I do. It's not like we want to spend forever here in Dallas (who would?) so... leave we must. Even though that means leaving all the family and friends that I have. Again. The bit about it that's bad is that Don is suggesting that even if we move it will only be for a couple of years, before doing it again. I don't like that idea; if we go somewhere else I wanted to put down a few roots and stay awhile. I wasn't raised an Army brat like him, moving every 2 years! I'm starting to realize that he is much more ambitious than I ever realized... he doesn't ever talk big but makes plans and slowly, steadily works his way towards them. All actions, not words: I'm more of a wordy person. Which probably explains why I have a blog and he doesn't! His ambition to go from being an Assistant Director (which he is now) to a Director at a small hotel (Virginia) to a larger hotel (the next move) to a corporate-level position doesn't fit that well with my idea of staying in one place for a while as we start our family, but it does dovetail with my (very expensive) dreams of a large family, a house to put them in, etc. He and I have pretty much always each paid our own way in the 6 years we've been together, but getting married and having kids would change that dynamic and it's interesting to find out, after all this time, that he is more the "provider" type (with his corporate ambitions etc) than I ever realized. And here I was thinking he was just a workaholic... he never framed it as a means to an end...
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Heat. Quilts. Babies.
ARRRRgh. It got to be 107 degrees yesterday. 107! That's crazy. The bank lost its air conditioning and we were without air all afternoon. There are no words to describe how much this sucked so I won't bother trying... I didn't get any sleep last night, had to open at work this morning, and wandered around in a haze all day. The AC in the apartment is going, too: it has been getting steadily worse for days now, maybe a freon leak or something like that. Don knows what it is but I was too hot and irritated to listen.
Anyways, enough bitching about the usual Dallas culprit! Last week I had a great idea for a quilt, it just appeared in my mind from nowhere (idea-fairy being generous again), all blues, greens, turquoises...lots of batiks and tone-on-tone prints, nothing cutesy or calico. I bought fabric so that I can get this idea rolling while it's still fresh in my mind, I hate it when the visions fade and you're left with wads of materials and a pencil sketch. I just need to wash the stuff, and to obtain some kind of chair so that I can use my sewing machine on the table and not on the floor.
I went to a baby shower on Sunday and there were actually babies in attendance, including this one baby boy who wasn't even six weeks old yet. Is there anything more wonderful than teeny tiny perfect little babies? I got to hold him for a long time while his mom ate, which was awesome, (in the original sense). Like a drug... how could anything be wrong when there are perfect little babies in existence? I had this great idea that there should be places you can go and hold babies any time for a little while to get that teeny-tiny-baby-fix, sort of like Meth clinics for heroin addicts. Don didn't think it was such a hot idea. He actually compared me to the Fat Bastard guy... all "Get in my BELLY!!" which I didn't really appreciate. But I guess he didn't appreciate me coming home from the shower all "forget our plan, I want a baby RIGHT NOW! This INSTANT! BABYBabybabybabybaby!"
Anyways, enough bitching about the usual Dallas culprit! Last week I had a great idea for a quilt, it just appeared in my mind from nowhere (idea-fairy being generous again), all blues, greens, turquoises...lots of batiks and tone-on-tone prints, nothing cutesy or calico. I bought fabric so that I can get this idea rolling while it's still fresh in my mind, I hate it when the visions fade and you're left with wads of materials and a pencil sketch. I just need to wash the stuff, and to obtain some kind of chair so that I can use my sewing machine on the table and not on the floor.
I went to a baby shower on Sunday and there were actually babies in attendance, including this one baby boy who wasn't even six weeks old yet. Is there anything more wonderful than teeny tiny perfect little babies? I got to hold him for a long time while his mom ate, which was awesome, (in the original sense). Like a drug... how could anything be wrong when there are perfect little babies in existence? I had this great idea that there should be places you can go and hold babies any time for a little while to get that teeny-tiny-baby-fix, sort of like Meth clinics for heroin addicts. Don didn't think it was such a hot idea. He actually compared me to the Fat Bastard guy... all "Get in my BELLY!!" which I didn't really appreciate. But I guess he didn't appreciate me coming home from the shower all "forget our plan, I want a baby RIGHT NOW! This INSTANT! BABYBabybabybabybaby!"
Monday, July 17, 2006
Stupid, stupid, stupid
Hmmm. No news on moving-to-Virginia yet. It's all very conjectural at this point. I had an utterly stupid day at work. Got called in 45 minutes early which isn't much except that I was supposed to be there at 7:45a.m. and they needed me at 7:00 instead so they called around 5. In the morning. And due to understandable miscommunications--because it was blippin' 5 in the morning-- I got called like 3 different times, the last time during that precious last-15-minutes-before-the-alarm sleep. Then I did a million transactions really fast, because one of the people working with me is like a turtle to whom everything is new even though she's been with us for 3 months now-- if I hear "Well, I never saw that before/ nobody told me that before/I've only done this 98 times so I don't remember it yet/etc" I'm going to scream, YOU'RE NOT IN TRAINING ANYMORE! FIGURE IT OUT! and scare her to death. And because I was going too fast for me, I was almost "over" $360.05-- that's having more money than you're supposed to, which is basically as bad as being short. Then we finally find the problem, just before 5:00 and it was because I made the STUPIDEST MISTAKE EVER that not even someone in training would do, which was taking 82 20-dollar bills and wrapping a strap around them, which labels it "$2,000". The funny thing is that a lot of people--even my boss--were trying to help me and none of them noticed it, either.
I think this co-worker frustrates me because our attitudes are just totally different. She basically has to be told everything and has to do it 100 times before she's comfortable with it. I'm more 'I-can-figure-this-out-on-my-own'; I'm at least willing to try before asking for help. Like doing tax payments: it's not something we do very often but it's not hard either. The first time I saw one I just worked through it.... hmm, it's a payment of some kind, go to the payment screen, it must be this one 'cuz it's not any of those others... this must be the account number, and so on. I live by the philosophy that it's better to fix a few mistakes later than to constantly require babysitting, plus we have the easiest software, it's basically multiple-choice. But...she's like 38 and is not going to suddenly adopt an adventurous attitude towards work at this stage. She'd be perfect in a factory, actually, very good at doing the same few things over and over but completely unable to deal with something new or different.
So I ended up going to work at 7 and being there till 5, which is kinda draining. But I bought stuff to make chicken nachos for dinner, which sounds good to me...I'm going to try and sort of fajita-up some of that pre-cooked rotisserie chicken you can get in the deli section and use that instead of actually cooking chicken which sounded exhausting at this point. If it doesn't work there's lots of chicken and we can just eat it as is.
I think this co-worker frustrates me because our attitudes are just totally different. She basically has to be told everything and has to do it 100 times before she's comfortable with it. I'm more 'I-can-figure-this-out-on-my-own'; I'm at least willing to try before asking for help. Like doing tax payments: it's not something we do very often but it's not hard either. The first time I saw one I just worked through it.... hmm, it's a payment of some kind, go to the payment screen, it must be this one 'cuz it's not any of those others... this must be the account number, and so on. I live by the philosophy that it's better to fix a few mistakes later than to constantly require babysitting, plus we have the easiest software, it's basically multiple-choice. But...she's like 38 and is not going to suddenly adopt an adventurous attitude towards work at this stage. She'd be perfect in a factory, actually, very good at doing the same few things over and over but completely unable to deal with something new or different.
So I ended up going to work at 7 and being there till 5, which is kinda draining. But I bought stuff to make chicken nachos for dinner, which sounds good to me...I'm going to try and sort of fajita-up some of that pre-cooked rotisserie chicken you can get in the deli section and use that instead of actually cooking chicken which sounded exhausting at this point. If it doesn't work there's lots of chicken and we can just eat it as is.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
Charlottesville?
There's a medium chance that Don and I will be moving to Charlottesville, Virginia at some point in the future. He's applying today for a transfer/promotion to the hotel there. I always bitch and moan about Dallas and how much we want to leave, but then I get terrified at the idea of starting all over again somewhere new! That's human nature for you...
Our major shared goal for the year was for him to be promoted to somewhere better than here... Texas was always meant to be a pit-stop on our life's trek, not a destination. VA sounds wonderful on paper: green and leafy, college town, historical stuff, small-town-ish, good climate. There are mountains, rivers, Democrats... everything that makes life more liveable. There are several branches of my bank there, too, so transferring shouldn't be too difficult. My parents won't be thrilled about it, of course. They love having us 5 minutes away and over for dinner every week, but we can't stay here forever just for that, can we? Don has no intention of being an assistant-director forever, he's ready to move into a director position, something that will challege him a bit.
Of course what's really scary, paradoxically, is the idea that the next move is a semi-permanent one; our destination for the time being where we will put down deeper roots, maybe buy a house, start our family. Here in Texas we've been in a holding pattern; it's always "no we can't look at houses because who knows where we'll be in 2 years and I hope it's not still here!" "Etc!" So there was always this underlying panic that maybe we'd never move on; that we would stay here indefinitely, accidentally, forever waiting for something better and forgeting to forge a life here in the meanwhile. Now I might trade that "what-if-were-here-forever" panic for a new one. Life is pretty easy, in a way, when you're not planning on staying somewhere-- live in an apartment, spend your money, put the "real life" on hold, whatever "real life" means to you. (Which I always try not to do but somehow do anyways: see my blog header?) But if we make a Big Move, it would signify that it's time to get on with life as we mean to live it, which would entail some fundamental changes, which is always intimidating.
Our major shared goal for the year was for him to be promoted to somewhere better than here... Texas was always meant to be a pit-stop on our life's trek, not a destination. VA sounds wonderful on paper: green and leafy, college town, historical stuff, small-town-ish, good climate. There are mountains, rivers, Democrats... everything that makes life more liveable. There are several branches of my bank there, too, so transferring shouldn't be too difficult. My parents won't be thrilled about it, of course. They love having us 5 minutes away and over for dinner every week, but we can't stay here forever just for that, can we? Don has no intention of being an assistant-director forever, he's ready to move into a director position, something that will challege him a bit.
Of course what's really scary, paradoxically, is the idea that the next move is a semi-permanent one; our destination for the time being where we will put down deeper roots, maybe buy a house, start our family. Here in Texas we've been in a holding pattern; it's always "no we can't look at houses because who knows where we'll be in 2 years and I hope it's not still here!" "Etc!" So there was always this underlying panic that maybe we'd never move on; that we would stay here indefinitely, accidentally, forever waiting for something better and forgeting to forge a life here in the meanwhile. Now I might trade that "what-if-were-here-forever" panic for a new one. Life is pretty easy, in a way, when you're not planning on staying somewhere-- live in an apartment, spend your money, put the "real life" on hold, whatever "real life" means to you. (Which I always try not to do but somehow do anyways: see my blog header?) But if we make a Big Move, it would signify that it's time to get on with life as we mean to live it, which would entail some fundamental changes, which is always intimidating.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Saturday, July 01, 2006
quickie
Don's back in town! Yay. Much happiness in that quarter. We went to On the Border last night for dinner which just completely sucked. We were sat next a table that had 10 adults and, no kidding, 10 kids under age 8 or so. They had it arranged so that the parents all sat at one end of the table and the rugrats had the other to themselves. It was like Chucky fucking Cheese and I wanted to dump margaritas all over the "adults" when the little brats started running all over the restaraunt screaming. Plus our service was pretty terrible. If thoughts could kill there would have been a massacre there last night. But, the food was good.
Much too busy to write now more. :)
Much too busy to write now more. :)
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