I have started and left unfinished many entries in the past week-- I think I have thinker's block. Of course part of it was that my RE appointment was today, and all I could do was whine about the waiting. Also, it's hard to follow up after a post like the previous, you know?
Thoughts about the RE appointment.
1. Why are so many REs and obstetricians men? I would love to think that thousands of male doctors just really, really want to help us women/ couples get pregnant and deliver our babies, or that they just find the whole reproductive process incredibly interesting, but I can't help but feel that the money is a major factor. There seems to be a lot more money in these fields than, say, pediatrics or family medicine. This clinic is downright posh, part of a spanking-new medical complex, and filled with luxe touches. I wish it was a sign of their success, but insurance companies have to pay for unsucessful treatments, too.
2. I like old-fashioned hospital gowns that are actually made of cloth and have sleeves and tie in the back. So much better than either the paper gowns or the kind where you have to snap the sleeves together.
3. I have a bad feeling that the next test (the HSG) is going to be scheduled for the exact day that I'm supposed to attend a training conference thingie. The clinic only does these procedures on Wednesday mornings, apparently, and the only week it can be done is the week after one's period started. That translates to one day out of the entire month in which this procedure can be done, and--if I can hazard a guess as to when my period will come-- that is one day of work I can't miss. What the hell.
4. The good doctor has prescribed me Valium and Percocet to take before the HSG. He is apparently reccommending them because of my reaction to the Pap smear/ vaginal exam. I have previously been under the impression that this is an uncomfortable-bordering-on-painful experience for any woman, but now I'm thinking maybe not? It's not as though we really discuss these things. Given my oversensitivity to drugs of any kind, how am I going to handle both of these at once, and on a work day? Oy vey.
Thoughts on work/ Things that are good about my job:
The hours. Always home before 5:30, never have to be there earlier than 8. It would be hard to go back to a retail-type job after that.
The pay. Not that I'm making tons of money or anything, just that I'm priced out of entry-level for most types of work. The only way to maintain what I earn is to stay in the same field and utilize my experience, but that wouldn't be any better than just staying here.
The benefits. Of which I am partaking liberally at the moment.
Not that any of that changes what I said previously--that it is making me unhappy and nuts-- but it makes it harder to just chuck it all and get a job making espresso drinks somewhere, or working retail, or waiting tables. In a way, it was all easier when I was making ten dollars an hour and not worrying about health insurance.
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For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This persective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. (Souza)
6 comments:
He's giving you Valium for your pap exam?!?!?!? wow - unless you came close to decking him, that's pretty fucking extreme. AND Percacet? Seriously, that's the kind of combo you might give someone who is having trauma issues, is in pain and cannot deal with a procedure due to the stress. Unless you are honestly wound so tightly he can't examine you, that's a big red flag in my book. I just can't believe he'd prescribe something like that over an exam - unless they are taking invasive measures for the test that are painful???
Where's I don't find them FUN by any means, I do have a slight condition that when stressed, can make everything down there clamp shut and it can become difficult to examine. My OBGYN just used to tell me to relax and take long, deep breaths and to not clinch my butt.
:)
*ubber big hug*
I hope everything is sorted soon with minimal discomfort.
Really though, you'll probably need a chaperon once you take both of those.
My pap smears are never a picnic, and I always have some pain during and after. When i started learning about childbirth coping methods (long before I became pregnant) I started treating Paps like childbirth, and doing relaxing breathing and focused relaxation, and they go much better. I don't know about this test, though. Probably taking the stuff is a good idea.
No Bella, the valium/perc is for the hystersalpingogram that I'll be scheduled for later in the month, not for the Pap! The HSG is a fairly invasive procedure that involves flooding the uterus with dye with a catheter through the cervix, while doing x-rays, so that they can see the shape of the uterus and tubes. But until now, I'd only heard of taking a lot of Advil beforehand, not scrip painkillers.
And they did reccommend that I bring someone with me who can drive me back.
{{{Hugs}}}
I hope they find solutions with minimal pain, you'll be in my thoughts.
OOOKKK!!! I'm on board now! Phew. For a min there I was about to scream that you needed to get the hell outta there! Sheesh - that's what I get for trying to read/respond to a blog post and sooth a sick toddler.
yeesh!
:)
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