9 Weeks Down, 32 To Go...

Argh, long time no post. Mostly due to, you know, the overwhelming tiredness that's been the topic of many posts now. So, I'm not going to talk about being tired today just to shake things up a little.

I will mention the hunger, because the longer this goes on, the weirder it seems. Both the pregnancy books I've read and the tales of other preggers ladies seem to focus on morning sickness, on finding foods you can stomach. They really don't address this ravenous, constant hunger that I've been experiencing all day long. I thought that this was a later-on-in-pregnancy thing, not a 2nd-month thing. At my doctor's appointment on Tuesday, I may ask them to take a look around to make sure that I don't have any extra passengers in there or something. Other things I will ask about:

Drugs I can take for my sinuses, which are crazy-awful right now. Tylenol doesn't do much for a sinus headache. I hope they can prescribe me something safe, or at least recommend an OTC.

Kidneys. Why do my kidneys hurt? It's very strange, almost like a kidney infection but without all the other symptoms. It's a mild sort of pain, more uncomfortable than intense. This is not addressed by the books either-- I'm assuming it's just one more thing made weird but it does worry me a tad that nobody else seems to be having kidney pain.

Don and I have fallen into the habit of calling the baby--which has graduated this week from an "embryo" to a "fetus"! -- "Grain of Rice". This comes from my referring to the baby's size as such, whenever Don says something like, "I don't think you are setting a good example for the baby right now" or when he tries to talk directly to my stomach, or other age-inappropriate stuff. But now it is bigger than a grain of rice and I decided that we needed to upgrade to a new nickname. Don's contributions: "Puffed rice? Rice cereal? Rice Crispy Treat!" Me: "No!" He also claims that I'm not so much 'eating for two' as eating for a platoon. Seriously, he's having way too much fun with this pregnancy thang, including the fact that I'm too tired to whack him when he says things. Whoops, mentioned the tired. Drat. Sorry.

But on the bright side, the "morning sickness" isn't too bad at all. As long as I keep food in my stomach, I feel OK. And since I'm hungry all the time, it's no hardship to eat. I feel a little queasy, a little dizzy, I get car-sick even when I'm the one driving. But no throwing up or major nausea, nothing compared to what other women seem to go through. I wonder if we'll be able to hear the heartbeat on Tuesday. Nine weeks is kind of early for that--unpredictable. It'd be nice, though. Confidence-building. I've never felt so vulnerable as I do right now; I've never felt as though I had quite so much to lose. Instead of feeling more womanly and adult, I feel girlish, shy, small and self-protective, as though keeping the world at bay will somehow help me hold onto this grain-o-rice. Logically I know that's not possible, but I walk down the street with my arms folded. I'm gaining weight but am taking up less space than usual...It's quite strange.