Thursday, March 08, 2007

Guess What?!?!?!?

Remember back in December, when I discussed the possibility of Don and me starting a family? Yeah, we totally did it!


(Me! In case it wasn't clear!)

I have waited 4 WHOLE days, between taking THE TEST and posting about it here. I think that shows admirable reserve--4 days! It was so hard. But, I've learned not once but twice now, that you never know who's reading your blog. (I know, I shouldn't have to learn the same lesson twice, but I'm a slow learner sometimes.) I wanted to make sure all of the principal parties had been informed before putting this information "out there"-- it would not be right for my mom to learn of something like this from anybody but me, for example!!

So, yeah. I'm utterly shocked and amazed. I was so convinced that I had fertility "issues", that it would be very difficult and time-consuming for us to make a baby... I was wrong! Chalk one up for Don on this one. He always tried to tell me that I was normal, and that even for a completely healthy, fertile couple conception it takes an average of 6 months or something, and we weren't really even trying very hard until last month anyways. So, apparently I am fertile. Fecund, even. I have been so sure, for so long that I would have problems getting pregnant that I can't wrap my mind around the fact that it just happened, just as I wanted it to.

I was so nervous, taking that test. I read the directions three times, as though they were that hard to figure out. The directions insist that you wait for three minutes after using it, before checking the results. I thought, "OK. Take the test, set it on the edge of the sink. Go into the kitchen and set the chicken-timer for 3 minutes. Drink some orange juice, and then go look." Yeah, right! The second I took the test the colors just whooshed across it. It was as though it couldn't tell me fast enough that it was positive; more like 3 seconds than 3 minutes. I could have tested a few days earlier, maybe even a week, had I not been in such great denial about the possibility.

Don and I are, of course, reacting differently. My happiness is mostly the dance-through-the-house-in-my-underwear type happiness, saying things like, "Do I look pregnant yet? Do I?" It's a very exuberant, joyous happiness. Don is more cautiously happy. He's a planner, a thinker, a problem-solver-- he's, "This is wonderful. But we need to think about X, Y, Z. What will we do about this, about that, and the other? What is going to change for the coming year, and what will go on as planned?" He's also quite a bit of, "I TOLD YOU SO, HAHAHAHAHA!"

I will admit it, I'm totally scared of miscarrying. I know there's basically nothing I can do except wait through these super-early weeks and take care of myself, but my fear-of-infertility is basically being replaced with fear-of-losing-the-embryo. I guess when it comes to "telling people", we have to divide the world into two categories: those people that we would tell about a miscarriage, and those we would rather not. For example, my parents, my siblings, my closest friends, my blog: I tell all of them right now, because if something happened I wouldn't keep that a secret either. My co-workers, on the other hand, I'm holding out on, as well as casual acquaintences and the like. It's HARD, though! I feel like making a sandwhich board that says, "I'm Pregnant!" on the front, and "November" on the back. Not telling everybody is going to be a real challenge for the next few months.


Bella said...

CONGRAD-U-FUCKING-LATIONS!!!! Hahah! How awesome! Man, I wish you guys were still down here, I've got a whole box of pregger clothes you could borrow if you wanted! If you need anything, wanna talk, vent, have weird female-pregger questions...totally give me a shout (972-980-9708)

You know it took Jordan and I two months of actually trying before I got pregnant? I took 5, yes 5, tests though I only told Jordan about 3! You may remember me posting all my "do I look pregnant yet?" photos...

I share in your joy! How exciting. :)
Again, moms and grandmas are great, especially when it's your first one, but having someone your age who just recently (or is currently) going through it to...makes SUCH a difference. My co-worker and friend Beatriz was three months ahead of me and it was so nice to have her to talk to. And even now, her son is three months older than Zephyr and I get all sorts of "heads' up" and things, not too mention a few "ya...he did that for days but it cleared up really well". Invaluable. Books be damned.

And I'm telling you right now: don't read ANYTHING on the damn internet. Ever. Talk to your doctor, talk to your family and friends, tell the numerous books and internet to shove it. It only makes you nervous. Well, there is ONE book I highly recommend (ok, two) but only because they made me laugh myself stupid:

~Jenny McCarthy: Belly Laughs
~Vicki Iovine: The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy


And believe it or not, miscarriage, though scary, doesn't happen as often as you might think. I was so worried I would and I break down one ton pallets and lift heavy objects for a living. As long as you continue to do your normal activities and don't do anything that isn't comfortable, you'll be fine.

ayla said...

Oh my goodness, I'm going through the EXACT SAME THING. I got to your blog from :) Congratulations and I look forward to going through your pregnancy with you!

PS--my pregnancy blog is hidden, for reasons that you yourself stated above, but you can find it at

ayla said...

Hey! Thanks for coming to check me out. You're the second commenter on my blog, and the first who is not a close friend!

I just wanted to let you know, my nickname didn't come from COTCB, rather it evolved from a series of nicknames that my mother gave me as a child. The books are just a nice throwback when people notice.

Anyways, thanks for noticin' me, and I look forward to sharing my pregnancy with you as well! PS I love Harry Potter too and I'm sad that I won't be able to go to Scotland for the book release.

Mara said...

Thanks Amanda, and Ayla!

Amanda dear, as much as I'd love to borrow maternity clothes from you, I seem to recall that we were, umm, *not* the same size. Unless you've got some floating around in whatever the equivelent to 'size 10' is... because I haven't suddenly become petite and waif-like! LOL

Bella said...

Ok, pants...yes, I had a hard time finding some that were small enough, even at nine months. However, I have plenty of shirts and sweaters that would look great on ya. ;) Especially with a new belly.