Monday, April 13, 2009

Let Me S'plain.

No, there is too much; let me sum up.

Sorry for the extra-long, worrisome silence. Everything is OK.

My father-in-law was hospitalized shortly after my trip to Texas, with a cascade of issues; the most serious being a stroke and the most immediate, a kidney infection. I didn't want to write about it until I knew more about what was happening, which took a long time. He has since been moved from the hospital to a nursing home for 'recovery'; whether he graduates from there back to his home remains to be seen, but the estimates right now are at about 3 months. Whether that estimate is based on his actual progress or on insurance, I can't tell.

Don drove out to be with his parents and was there for a little more than a week. I didn't want to post about that, not wanting to advertise my being all alone, not ever really knowing who's reading the blog, etc. There's something about being this much pregnant that makes me feel more vulnerable than usual. I don't know if it's because I'm all big, slow, and wobbly, not my usual nimble self, or because I'm feeling defensive for the little one within. Either way, I find myself suspicious of passers-by, fast-moving vehicles, thunder and lightning, everything.

I am finding out why nobody seems to rave about the last trimester of pregnancy; it's really starting to kick my ass. All of the energy and drive that I had in January and February left me sometime in mid-March. All of the great things I was getting done, have been un-done by sheer entropy and nap-attacks. The baby is coming and NOTHING IS READY.

We did get more chickens. Many posts to follow, surely, about the new chickens.


Polly Gamwich said...

I think the phrase is "let me s'plain"


Mara said...

10 life points for knowing that... I'm editing now.

Bex said...

Now you see why I said it isn't so long left to wait? When the to do list is longer then the time you have left to get it done time seems to go into fast forward mode.

ayla said...

I'm so sorry about your FIL. If you need any information, I do work in a hospital, and I am trained as a nurse. My email address is ayla anne @ gmail . com (remove all the spaces).

Your paranoia worries me a bit. It's normal to feel protective and to worry about things like who's reading your blog. But being suspicious of strangers is a little much. I got some serious paranoia once when I was taking a BCP, and I got off of that superfast. With you, I'm worried that paranoia now might lead to other problems post-partum.

Mara said...

Eh, I wouldn't say I'm paranoid per se. I just think that it's generally a good idea to not advertise on the internet, "Hey, I'm all alone this week, my husband is 1000 miles away and I have no family here." I've been surprised a couple of times by who reads or has read my blog (and never in a positive way); it's enough to remind me that you don't ever really know who's reading what.

I was exaggerating just a bit about being scared of strangers, trucks and lightening... honest! I think my mental health is pretty good right now, although if I post later about my dream this morning about the end of the world, you might disagree. (Actual line of dialogue from the dream: "yes, people are eating out a lot less ever since the world ended.")

Re: my FIL: he has a feeding tube right now, because the stroke has hindered his ability to swallow food properly. A big part of whether he will be able to come home rests on whether his physical therapists can re-teach him to swallow, which apparently is rather case-by-case. There are other issues as well, but that's the biggest one. Because he already had Alzheimer's, it's rather tricky for them to figure out how much of his confusion is from the stroke, and how much from that, and therefore how much he might recover. All in all, it's pretty rough; he was in the hospital a full three weeks before they could release him to the nursing home.

Bella said...

Anyone who makes references to The Princess Bride is my hero :) "I'm beginning to think that word does not mean what you think it means"

Warm and healing wishes to your father in law, I know that can be a lot of stress...

Nothing got me in a tighter twist than the nights Jordan worked the graveyard shift and I was 8 months pregnant... It got pretty silly, I must admit. Don't worry about stuff being ready for the big day - news flash now that we are parents SHIT IS NEVER EVER READY!!!! Nor will it ever be the same level of clean again. I've started to embrace "it will do" as the new "clean".

Much love to you!!!!!!!

Kara (ihugtrees on MDC) said...

At 31 weeks, I'm getting paranoid, too. I really am way more scared then I used to be. I'm more paranoid about getting in car wrecks, being kidnapped, tornados coming and blowing away my house, etc. So you're not weird.

Hope your FIL is better quickly.

Rachel said...

I understand that feeling of vulnerability. We got in a minor fender bender when I was 27 weeks or so. I remember being so mad at the woman who hit us that I was ready to get out of the car and confront her. It was just because I was terrified of elbows, smoking, and people who may give me the evil eye, but I don't think she would've been very sympathetic.