Half-way

We are twenty weeks pregnant, this week. Twenty weeks! Half of the distance to forty! It boggles the mind, really. I feel good, amazing. I worry that I shouldn't feel good, that there should be a high price to pay for successful gestation; I've seen it with my friends and colleagues, their constant sickness, heartburn, enormous ankles. Shouldn't I be feeling like that, too? With the exception of some insomnia, I feel great. If it weren't for this semi-constant, sneakers-tumbling-in-my-dryer feeling and my changing dimensions, it would be easy to forget about the pregnancy entirely. Maybe feeling worse will come again later.

Work is dragging me down, getting more and more stressful just as I start to find that I really don't care about it at all; not the best combination. This is not a great time, apparently, to be in the banking industry, even with a solid company. Wage freezes, hiring freezes, bonuses cancelled... It's grim. We're shorthanded one position that won't be refilled anytime soon, so it is two people doing the work of three. (Except that it isn't, can you guess who has to do more?) With just two people day in and day out, even little things like taking lunch breaks become difficult. This is the first week of the semester, or what we call "Oh Hell, the Students are Back Week"-- one of the busiest times of the year. I just have to think, it will be easier next week, and afterwards.

All my little 2009 projects and goals are a fun distraction from work. It's nice to have the readily visible results that come from cleaning or organizing something (or keeping it clean); from making a substantial credit-card payment; from maintaining a bank account balance. I'm hoping that with enough time, little things like bringing lunch to work will become a habit, rather than something that requires a lot of time and thought, but it's working really well so far.