Momentum

So, things are finally moving along, or should I say that I'm finally gaining momentum? I tend to have some negative ways of dealing with stress: procrastination and inertia. I try to bury my head in the covers and hope that it all goes away and magically sorts itself out, whatever "it" happens to be-- an exam, a paper, changing jobs, relationship issues, moving cross-country, whatever. But, once I finally get moving I keep on keepin' on-- isn't that a Newton principle?

I went to the leasing office--finally--to discuss breaking the lease. They were actually pretty nice about it; I was expecting difficulty and snippiness. It might cost us a bit, but not as much as it might have done; and that's only if it isn't re-rented. But we have to play by the rules because my parents co-signed this place and I don't want to thank them by messing up their credit history, not to mention that I'd like to buy a house in maybe 1 1/2 to 2 years. So. As for the damage deposit I'll be lucky to break even as they'll definitely want to replace the carpet.

I called the water-billing people to find out why my water bill tripled in the last month and got that straightened out I think; the guy said it was a meter-reading error and they'll be sending a "meter specialist" out to take a look. And refund my money.

I got a call from the moving company-- they want to come take a look at all our stuff to determine what number of boxes, truck space, etc will be required. My first thought was that I need to clean the apartment, which is kind of sad.... cleaning for strangers. It's the life of we messy people, that live with the mess ourselves but tidy up for company and even moving companies. Well, I was going to do that this weekend anyways.

Slowly but surely everything will be worked out and dealt with. For now I'm going to work on my quilt.

Stormy weather...

Update time... did I lose a week in time again? Damn, hate it when that happens. Nothing has changed re: the mental, physical and emotional chaos that this move (uprooting, really) is creating. Don left for Virginia yesterday morning, so I'm livin' the single life until I join him. Woohoo! I think I'll clean the fishtank and go to bed early! Maybe I'll go to my parents' house--again! Good times! On the bright side, I managed to drive Don to DFW airport--stopping for coffee and the ATM--drop him at the correct gate, circle back to 635 East, use my tolltag to get out and got back to Richardson before 8:3o in the morning, not getting lost or turned around at all. Not bad for my first time!

Miracle of miracles, it's been raining here. Lots of rain. Big storms alternating with little sprinkles. It's indescribably wonderful... sometimes you don't realize how deprived you are of something until you get it back. I love it. Hope it goes on all week, or all month. God knows we could use the water. Everyone at the bank was reveling in it, the customers in the drive-thru; I've never seen rainy weather so appreciated by the masses. Usually it's just nuts like me who love rain. It's ironically fitting that it rains now that Don has left, timed almost exactly to his flight. Poor guy, it's like he's cursed or something to not see the rainfall. It's happened three times now, that he leaves town and we get a storm.

I've started working on my quilt to keep me busy and calm me down. It's going to be very difficult for me I think, because I've never done anything quite like this before. This design is apparently made of 1,000 little triangles sewn together. Really I need to take up knitting or something instead.

I had dinner at my parents' last night, and we played Scrabble after. Scrabble in my family is epic... it's Contact Scrabble. There's name-calling, insults, threats... and that's mostly between my parents who are usually a sweet and loving couple. The rule-book and dictionary get constant use, and my dad starts each of his turns with 'Now I know this isn't usually allowed but I think you'll agree that....."
I think every family has something their competitive over; in a literary one like mine word games take it. I won though, with 'verity' and 'zen', the zen bringing in over 40 points for that night's top scorer. Hah!

Pure Chaos

Don is leaving for Virginia on Sunday. I will be following him I think by the end of Septemberish, but date remains uncertain. Everything is so chaotic, and so undetermined too, that it's driving me crazy. I feel like I don't have the information or the time that I need to get things taken care of, and everything is happening at once. Why do so many other things always pop up at once? Never during the slow times. My electric company charged my account twice. Why?? I don't know. My water bill has somehow tripled in size-- I need to call them and ask why. A one-bedroom apartment isn't likely to suddenly start using more water than before. I need to know the name of the moving company that Don's company uses, and find out whether they're packing up our stuff or just moving the stuff that we pack. I pack, I mean. Until Don finds a place for us to live, I have no address to work with which is also keeping me from doing certain things. Finding a place won't be that easy, either. Dog, for one. Price, for another. There's not much point in getting a promotion and a fat raise if your cost of living immediately increases and absorbs it all. I'm hoping to keep the rent in the same neighborhood that it's in now, and not go higher just because we 'could'. If he doesn't find a place soon enough, I won't be able to leave here in a timely manner (no place to send all the Stuff, no place to go!) which affects everything from how long i'll be paying rent on this apartment to how soon I can start seriously searching for a job there. It's kind of hard to job-search with the mentality of: well, I'll be there by October 3rd. Unless I'm not... then I'll be there later.

It looks like our October vacation to Vermont is shot, and possibly even the idea of having the wedding up there. If we can't go up there in October as we planned to check everything out and make arrangements it'll be almost impossible to plan a wedding sight unseen-- at least, unseen for 3 1/2 years by then. Not to mention that I lost the Rabbi that was going to officiate. Something about dawdling on setting a date, having other interested couples etc. Jeez, professionals. I'd really looked forward to our trip and the plane tickets are bought and paid for. But they're from Dallas to Boston... not much good if we're in Virginia! Ah well. It will all be worthwhile at somepoint, just have to live through the chaos first.

P.S. If you read this post and realize that I'll be on my own for a solid month at least, please call and go out w/ me etc. I'd like to reconnect with my friends before leaving them all again. :)

Your Personality Is Like Alcohol

You're the life of the party, a total flirt, and probably a pretty big jokester. Sometimes your behavior gets you in trouble, but you still remain socially acceptable. You're a pretty bad driver, and you're dancing could also use a little work!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Tripping

Back from Chicago. What a trip. Chicago is an amazing city; I wish I'd had another week there. Everything we tried to do--a few hours here, a few hours there--I wanted to spend a day just exploring. The Oak Park neighborhood, filled with beautiful old Victorian houses, bungalows, and the first Frank Lloyd Wright homes; the Magnificent Mile, which would inspire even me to shop and shop; the Art Institute. So much stuff happened in one weekend that it's all in bits and pieces now in my mind and I can't comprehend it all.

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We flew out the day after that foiled-terrorist-plot thing that raised all the Terrorist Levels or whatever to Orange. Everything went really smoothly as far as that went though. Except that my mom thought that my luggage was her gym bag (they're identical ugly green duffel bags) and tried to put it back in the car, thinking that Dad had grabbed it out of the bedroom by mistake or something... I panicked: that's all my stuff, what are you doing? That's my bag! Solution: I'm getting a smart carry-on bag for my holiday present, one of those square-ish rolley ones, like everyone else in my family (and the airport) seems to have.

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Driving in Chicago is CRAZY. They don't use 'lanes' the way that we do--driving straight forward in one lane or moving to another lane to drive in that lane. They just act as though there are no lines whatsoever painted on the road. And they take the attitude that to signal turns is to let the enemy know your plan. Downtown there are hoards and hoards of pedestrians and cyclists, it looks like Manhattan. They just surge into the street randomly, brazenly, knowing that no motorist would mow down 20 walkers at once.

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The Jeep Liberty wins the coveted Worst SUV Ever award. I mean the only good thing about SUVs is the space, right? Luggage space and leg-room? It has none. Our luggage barely fit; backpacks and things had to be carried on laps. Backseat as cramped as my Chevy Cavalier-- a compact car. (Luckily as the Chief Navigator I rode shotgun most of the trip.) On top of that the thing had the child-safety locks set on the back doors, so nobody could get out of the back seat until somebody came around and opened the door from the outside. This went on for a day and a half, until we figured out how to unset that feature.

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Spending 86 million consecutive hours with my family makes me crazy. Crazy. We do better with moderation, not with flying together, eating together,

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Under the right circumstances and with enough wine, my family will dance. With each other. In public. I'm scared to see the wedding videos.

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If my entire family has entered an art museum and I wander away to contemplate some paintings in silence, my mom will call my cellphone to ask if I'm okay. Where am I? Did I get lost? Spending more than 1 day with us makes her forget that KK and I are 23 and 25, not 3 and 5. I guess it's sweet really.

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We barely made it onto the plane back in time. You know what I said about the Jeep Liberty? It goes double for Thrifty rental car company--don't use them if you can help it. When you live in Dallas, it's easy to forget what a great airport we have. Clean, modern, well-laid out. Up-to-date systems, efficient equipment. We just take it for granted until dealing with some old crumbling structure filled with catatonic personnel. Like, I don't know, Chicago O'Hare?

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I got in trouble with Mom for stopping to talk to the handler of one of the bomb-sniffing dogs. But it was the most beautiful German Shepherd--long haired-- and they were still putting their shoes back on...

The handlers are actually the dogs' owners; they take them home at night and spend all day and night with them. Like pets, but pets that deter drug traffickers and terrorists.

A Few Pictures

that Don took on his interview trip. This is apparently this wall downtown where people can write things in chalk.

A really nice tree for rent. Seems to come with a house behind it.

Shots of the "downtown" area.

Don got the job. We're moving.






Aaaaack.

Shopping Victory (or, Plundering the Village)

I have shopped, and I am triumphant. Hear me roar about my shoes and miscellany, for in 2 and 1/2 hours I have bought it all, with no snags or dilemmas. I have pushed through crowds, pawed through jeans, and have waged war with one of those shopping carts that constantly tries to turn right. Purchased: 2 pairs of high-heeled shoes; one black and semi-casual, one bronzy metallic fancy, for the wedding and its dress rehearsal. They go with the dresses. They will let me tower over my brother one last time before he grows so tall that even high heels won't tip the scales. Purchased: 2 pairs of jeans, 2 t-shirts, and 1 terry hoodie jacket at Old Navy, because it's right next door to DSW and I felt ambitious after the shoes, and because my wardrobe has been quietly falling to pieces in the last year. Purchased: 70 dollars worth of miscellaneous stuff at Target, including but not limited to mascara, eye-makeup, 2 nail polishes, toiletry bag, cute little travel-sized thingies, and an eye-lash curler, because I lost mine somehow.

Excerpts:

1. I love Old Navy. I know it's cheap, bourgeois, and filled with teenagers and soccer moms, but I don't care. It's great for someone like me who has no money and little interest in clothing, but can't wander around naked and therefore needs somewhere to buy clothing.

2. I am "long waisted", which means that upon inspection my torso is weirdly long and my legs are short. This means that I look really weird in low-waisted pants, and in high-waisted pants. But Old Navy has something they call 'just below waist' that makes me look half-way in balance.

3. To Girls in Dressing Rooms Everywhere: the dress-size you are is not the one you can squeeeeeze yourself into, but the one that fits you the best. Nobody but you and your mom need to know what number is printed on the tag, you can even cut it off. But everybody will notice the bits and rolls of you that hang out of too-small clothing because you refuse to admit that maybe you're more of a 12 than an 8. Squeezed flesh never looks good.

4. For the first time ever I will not be travelling with all my toiletries in a Ziploc baggie. I feel very adult, having a toiletry bag, with little plastic bottles to fill with shampoo and conditioner, and a little holder for a bar of soap.

Don says that I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE Charlottesville. He pointed out numerous distinctions, including college kids with dreadlocks; anti-Bush signage; a lack of groomed front yards and a surplus of messy gardens; downtown cafes that provide water-bowls for dogs; street musicians; a lone anti-war demonstrator wearing a sandwich board; the availability of Magic Hat beer (a Vermont thing); numerous coffee shops that aren't Starbucks; a gelato place; a lack of people yabbering on cell-phones; the fact that he could wander around for 4 hours on foot. Among other things.

What can I say, he and I have unusual parameters for judging a place. I hope he gets the job. I hope he takes the job if they offer it. I'm still scared shitless.

Ramble

Don's in Virginia now, to be interviewed this weekend. It's entirely possible that we will actually move, which is weird to me. One funny thing is that he's not necessarily going to take the job if it's offered; the pay has to be right, and the company has to pay for relocation etc. Funny, because I've never been in a position to negotiate during a job interview: it's always me really needing a position and the interviewers asking me questions. I've never looked for a better job while already having a really good one.

So he's gone for the weekend, and next weekend I'm in Chicago, and if we move then he'll be there for a long time before me. A lot of separation happening here.

Work went well probably because I got some sleep last night, finally. Thank you, makers of the beloved Benedryll that makes people sleep and fixes their allergies all at once. We have a new assistant manager-in-training from California, who complimented us on our ability to get out the door after closing. About 2:30 we all sort of wake up and start getting stuff done so that we'll leave at 3, right after we lock the doors-- who doesn't have the motivation to leave as early as possible on Saturday afternoon? Her comment surprised me.

I need to buy some shoes and stuff for the wedding but I'm terrified of Tax-Free weekend shopping. I may put it off until Wednesday, but then what if I don't find anything? Ack help. Why wasn't I born with the ubiquitous female shopping gene that makes women actually enjoy things like shoe-shopping? It seems to be missing!

Couch Monster and the sleep deprivation

It turns out that Don and I have a Couch Monster. It goes with our Laundry Fairy and the Kitchen Gremlin, I guess. The Couch Monster is responsible for that phenomenon in which somebody stays on the couch to read/ watch TV/ be online/ watch a movie/ play a video game/ whatever instead of dragging his/her rear off to bed, so that instead of turning in at a responsible, healthy 10:00 or 10:30 one finds oneself still goofing about at midnight or later, missing the valuable sleep that will make the next day productive or even liveable. Bad Couch Monster, it got me good last night.

So I didn't get enough sleep and did really stupid things all day, like this: Went through the Starbucks drive-thru on the way to work. Paid in cash, got my change, drove away. Got about 3/4 of the way to work and reached for my caffeine at a red light only to discover that it's not there. I actually drove away before they handed me my drink... I had to turn around and drive back to get it, where they were all laughing at me, which made me late for work. The alternative--going without coffee on 5 hours of sleep-- was unthinkable. The worst part was that when I realized the coffee wasn't in my cup holder I kept looking for it, like maybe I set it on the back seat or the dashboard or something. And all that was before 7 in the morning... my day was stupid.

Don and I have agreed to rescue each other from the Couch Monster and drag the victim to bed regardless of protestation, to prevent days like this.

Went to dinner with my family at this cool Japanese place where they prepare the food right in front of you with much flamboyance. It was fun. We also stopped by Borders on the way home (a natural activity for my family) and I got to talk to Ben for a bit which was something of a relief--I'd felt lately like he'd been mad at me, or avoiding me or something. Apparently not the case, though, thankfully. I found him pinned in the music department by my Dad, who asks arcane, complicated questions about classical music and doesn't understand why they can't unwrap a CD for him to listen to in the store and decide on later. Poor Ben.

Common Ground

Seen on the back of a car on my commute home:

Frodo Failed: Bush Has the Ring

And, the decal for the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

It was a Honda Civic, of course.

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The link to my essay at Leaky Lounge:

http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/#scribbulus:issues

Hint: it's the one about Quidditch